Robert Orben Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

  Robert Orben

  Two, Would Be, World

  4 Copy quote

• Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

  Robert Orben

  Dreamer, Realist, Knows

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• Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.

  Robert Orben

  Lasts, Economy, Quarters

  4 Copy quote

• The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

  Robert Orben

  Writing, Secret, Comedy

  "Life in the Laugh Factory" by Henry Allen, The Washington Post, p. B1, January 4, 1979.

  5 Copy quote

• What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?

  Robert Orben

  What If, Religion, Earth

  9 Copy quote

• A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, People, Silence

  Robert Orben (2012). “2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches”, p.312, Doubleday

  5 Copy quote

• There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Work, Humor

  14 Copy quote

• A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

  Robert Orben

  War, Weapons, Rust

  5 Copy quote

• I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

  Robert Orben

  Yesterday, Wonder, Share

  Robert Orben (2012). “2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing”, p.336, Doubleday

  5 Copy quote

• Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

  Robert Orben

  Travel, Home, Past

  Robert Orben (1978). “2000 new laughs for speakers: the ad-libber's handbook”, Random House Value Pub

  5 Copy quote

• There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

  Robert Orben

  Two, People, Dreamer

  21 Copy quote

• In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

  Robert Orben

  Humor, Fighting, Two

  Robert Orben (2011). “2100 Laughs for All Occasions: Short, Sharp, Topical, and Funny--Arranged in Categories for Reading, Telling, Laughing”, p.7, Main Street Books

  19 Copy quote

• To exercise is human; not to is divine.

  Robert Orben

  Exercise, Divine, Humans

  8 Copy quote

• Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

  Robert Orben

  Years, Wildfires

  "The Jokers Take Heart - Pundits Ponder The Implications". The Washington Post, May 06, 1987.

  6 Copy quote

• We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.

  Robert Orben

  Family, Dirty, Listening

  7 Copy quote

• It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.

  Robert Orben

  Writing, Scratches, Plot

  "Scandal feeds maelstrom of Clinton jokes - 'Monicagate' a windfall for TV wits" by Lauren Keeport, The Washington Times, p. A2, February 3, 1998.

  4 Copy quote

• I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.

  Robert Orben

  Education, Morning, Teaching

  4 Copy quote

• It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke.

  Robert Orben

  Age, Sense Of Humor, Jokes

  "Backstory: Serious business of jokes in politics". Gail Russell Chaddock, Christian Science Monitor, December 9, 2005.

  4 Copy quote

• All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.

  Robert Orben

  Grief, Mean, Years

  4 Copy quote

• Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

  Robert Orben

  Country, Feelings, World

  "The Tribune's View: The oil crisis - Shall we continue to fiddle?" by Henry J. Waters III, Columbia Daily Tribune, April 29, 2008.

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• What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

  Robert Orben

  Mind, Tvs, Take Me

  4 Copy quote

• If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?

  Robert Orben

  People, Crooks, Stories

  "Comics' Barbs Keep White House Hopefuls On The Run" by Thomas J. Brazaitis, The Plain Dealer, p. 4A, March 14, 1992.

  4 Copy quote

• Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?

  Robert Orben

  Checks, Figures, Bounce

  "Title: Alison DaRosa" by Alison DaRosa, Evening Tribune, Union-Tribune Publishing Co., p. B-1, November 26, 1985.

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• If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

  Robert Orben

  Water, Laughing, Willing

  "It's No Joke: Politicians Pay to Get Those Laughs". The Dallas Morning News, March 24, 1990.

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• It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

  Robert Orben

  Eggs, Way, Hong Kong

  Robert Orben (1978). “2000 new laughs for speakers: the ad-libber's handbook”, Random House Value Pub

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