Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
Good people drink good beer.
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.
When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
I drink to make other people interesting.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.
There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.
I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
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