Funny Drinking Quotes - Page 4

• We drink and we die and continue to drink.

  Denis Leary

  Drinking, Drink, Dies

  Song: Traditional Irish Folk Song

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• You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

  Frank Zappa

  Country, Real, Drinking

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.231, Simon and Schuster

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• Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.

  N. F. Simpson

  Drinking, Food, Reality

  53 Copy quote

• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, House, Alcohol

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• The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Scotch, Water

  Sir Winston Churchill (1965). “The Churchill Wit”

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• Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Humorous, Drinking, Beer

  69 Copy quote

• The British government has urged its citizens to abstain from alcohol at least two days a week. Or to make it easier to remember, whenever they brush their teeth.

  Conan O'Brien

  Government, Two, Alcohol

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• I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Beauty, Sarcastic

  32 Copy quote

• Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle.

  Paul McCartney

  Drinking, Drunk, Adventurous

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• I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.

  Napoleon Bonaparte

  Drinking, Wine, Winning

  27 Copy quote

• Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Alcohol, Done

  "The Temperance Lecture" (radio broadcast) (1938)

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• My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

  Henny Youngman

  Good Life, Grandma, Drinking

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

  Henny Youngman

  New York, Dad, Drinking

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• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Work

  Quoted in Frank Harris, Oscar Wilde: His Life and Confessions (1916)

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• I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Party, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.

  Edgar Allan Poe

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  Edgar Allan Poe (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated)”, p.229, Delphi Classics

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• Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises.

  Jim Jefferies

  Smart, Drinking, Kids

  99 Copy quote

• Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

  Dorothy Parker

  Drinking, Wine, Envy

  Dorothy Parker (1944). “Dorothy Parker”

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• The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.

  Dean Martin

  Thinking, Sober, Reason

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• What's made Milwaukee famous has made a loser out of me.

  Glenn Sutton

  Drinking, Loser, Milwaukee

  "Song: "What's Made Milwaukee Famous"". May 1968.

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• You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

  Celia Rivenbark

  Morning, Drinking, Beer

  Celia Rivenbark (2009). “You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning”, p.6, Macmillan

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• I like my whisky old and my women young.

  Errol Flynn

  Drinking, Scotch, Whiskey

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• Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

  Dave Barry

  Fun, Drinking, Book

  "Vegetable Magnetism" by Dave Barry, www.washingtonpost.com. March 17, 1991.

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• I don't trust people who don't use profanity.

  Mark Oliver Everett

  Trust, Drinking, People

  13 Copy quote

• Best while you have it use your breath, There is no drinking after death.

  Dario Fo

  Drinking, Use, After Death

  11 Copy quote