Funny Drinking Quotes - Page 5

• Protocol, alcohol, and Geritol.

  Adlai E. Stevenson

  Drinking, Alcohol, Drug

  "Adlai Stevenson". Book by Herbert J. Muller, p. 274, 1967.

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• He that drinks fast, pays slow.
  Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
  There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

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• My name is Adam. My father's name is Adam. Having the same name as your father, it's alright until your voice changes. My friends would always call up, 'Is Adam there?' My father would say, 'This is Adam.' My friends would say, 'Adam, you were so wasted last night.'

  Adam Sandler

  Father, Drinking, Night

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• I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.

  Dorothy Parker

  Drinking, Two, Alcohol

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  "Reflection on Ice-breaking" l. 1 (1931)

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• I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

  Adrian Rogers

  Sorry, Drinking, Beer

  Adrian Rogers, Steve Rogers (2012). “What Every Christian Ought to Know”, p.25, B&H Publishing Group

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• Drink today, and drown all sorrow; you shall perhaps not do tomorrow.

  John Fletcher

  Alcohol, Sorrow, Today

  John Fletcher, Nathan Field, Philip Massinger (1991). “The Bloody Brother: A Tragedy”

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• It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?

  Amy Neftzger

  Friday, Alcohol, Afternoon

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• Don't trust people who don't laugh. I don't.

  Maya Angelou

  Trust, Drinking, Laughing

  "Maya Angelou: Best-Selling Poet Shares Story of Her Life and Work" by Brent Cunningham, www.buffalo.edu. April 30, 1998.

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• My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whisky.

  William Faulkner

  Drinking, Writing, Scotch Whisky

  "William Faulkner, The Art of Fiction No. 12". Interview with Jean Stein, www.theparisreview.org. 1956.

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• It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.

  Thomas de Quincey

  Drinking, Beer, Men

  Thomas De Quincey (1841). “Confessions of an English Opium-eater: Being an Extract from the Life of a Scholar”, p.89

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• Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

  Mark Twain

  Drinking, Beer, Men

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• I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.

  Stonewall Jackson

  Drinking, Food, Alcohol

  Quoted by William Jones in The Life and Letters of Robert Edward Lee, Soldier and Man p. 443

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• The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.

  H. L. Mencken

  Drinking, Men, Wind

  H. L. MENCKEN (1924). “PREJUDICES FOURTH SERIES”

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• Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean...Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

  Gerard Way

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

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  You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

  Dean Martin

  Clever, Lying, Humorous

  In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

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• I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

  George Gobel

  Drinking, Beer, Drunk

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I drink to make other people interesting.

  George Jean Nathan

  Drinking, Book, Beer

  George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

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• I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

  Oscar Levant

  Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

  Francois Rabelais

  Drinking, Beer, Thinking

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• I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Drinking, Juice, Viagra

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Drinking, Beer, Animal

  All Things Considered (1908) "Wine When it is Red"

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• I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  Recalled on his death, 4 Jun1971.

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• Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.

  Graham Greene

  Lying, Drinking, Wine

  Graham Greene (1980). “Travels with my aunt”

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• Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

  Steve Martin

  Funny, Block, Drinking

  FaceBook post by Steve Martin from Aug 23, 2011

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