Drinking Funny Quotes - Page 5

• I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Inspirational, Wisdom, Truth

  Abraham Lincoln (1999). “The Wit & Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln: A Treasury of Quotations, Anecdotes, and Observations”, Gramercy

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• Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.

  Carl Jung

  Drinking, Recovery, Overcoming Addiction

  Memories, Dreams, Reflections ch. 12 (1962)

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• God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

  Ed McMahon

  Drinking, Drunk, Alcohol

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• Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Drinking, Alcohol, Literature

  Gilbert K. Chesterton (2013). “The Essential Gilbert K. Chesterton”, p.163, Simon and Schuster

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  I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

  George Best

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  "Best: Decline of the golden boy". news.bbc.co.uk. June 14, 2005.

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• Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

  Lord Byron

  Drinking, Beer, Men

  'Don Juan' (1819-24) canto 2, st. 179

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  The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

  Humphrey Bogart

  Drinking, Book, Beer

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• Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Motivational, Drinking, Beer

  The Devil's Dictionary

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• I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Beauty, Sarcastic

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• Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

  Robert Benchley

  Drinking, People, Alcohol

  "The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom". Book by Herbert Victor Prochnow, 1958.

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• I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

  Winston Churchill

  Military, Drinking, Taken

  In Quentin Reynolds By Quentin Reynolds (1964) ch. 11

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• It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

  George Burns

  Clever, Drinking, Drunk

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• I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

  Noel Coward

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

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• Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

  Nancy Astor

  Husband, Drinking, Beer

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• I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Party, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Beer, Wife

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  An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Book, Drinking, Beer

  Ernest Hemingway (2008). “The Good Life According to Hemingway”, Ecco

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• My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Drinking, Doctors, Mirrors

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.88, Zondervan

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• Wine is sunlight, held together by water.

  Galileo Galilei

  Drinking, Food, Wine

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• Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Drinking, Ignorance, Stupid People

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.110, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.

  Graham Greene

  Lying, Drinking, Wine

  Graham Greene (1980). “Travels with my aunt”

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• I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

  Bette Midler

  Drinking, Drunk, Perspective

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

  Chelsea Handler

  Party, Drinking, Two

  Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.84, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

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• My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

  Henny Youngman

  New York, Dad, Drinking

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• No poems can please long or live that are written by water drinkers.

  Horace

  Food, Water, Long

  8 Copy quote