Comedian Quotes - Page 25

• As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a sprint, it gets a little easier.

  Iliza Shlesinger

  Acceptance, Downtime, Littles

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• I think it go serious in college when I found out I really enjoyed making people laugh. It makes me happy. I said, I wanna be a comedian, I wanna get good.' You're not good in the beginning. You're still trying to figure out what the things are that you are going to talk about, what your angle is going to be and there's a lot of trial and error. I just never gave up and that was the beginning of my career. Just experimenting, trying it out and falling in love with it.

  Bill Bellamy

  Falling In Love, College, Thinking

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• I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

  Andy Kindler

  Believe, Book, Special

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• I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.

  Felipe Esparza

  Hate, Use, Credit

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• I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

  Felipe Esparza

  Mexico, Comedy, Translate

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• There are three goals for any comedian: to make a living as a comedian; I've been fortunate to do that. To make a name for yourself and to be famous would be great - because it would give me that freedom.

  Alonzo Bodden

  Names, Giving, Goal

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• I pride myself on never using a cuss word on stage. Ever. I headline in Las Vegas every year, and this summer I am performing on an Alaskan cruise. Not too many comedians can pull that off. Funny thing is, my show doesn't change for Vegas.

  Henry Cho

  Summer, Pride, Vegas

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• As a comedian, I have the gift of looking at something a bit differently and making it funny. I'm not sure why I can do that, but that's as simple as I can put it.

  Henry Cho

  Simple, Not Sure, Can Do

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• Comedy today is definitely skewed to the filthy side, but it's not as hard today as I am more mature as a comedian and a person. I'm a grown up now doing a kid's job. Being a more mature Christian these days makes it easier than when I first started. Now I get to do shows of my choosing and a lot of folks attending the shows know my work and expect a clean show.

  Henry Cho

  Christian, Jobs, Kids

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• I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

  Gary Gulman

  Christian, Couple, Party

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• I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

  Gary Gulman

  Thinking, People, Together

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• With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.

  Gary Gulman

  Basketball, Athlete, Night

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• My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.

  Dov Davidoff

  Jobs, Fighting, Way

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• What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

  Carlos Mencia

  Stupid, Sophisticated, Jokes

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• I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

  Carlos Mencia

  Hurt, Laughter, Cancer

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• If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.

  Godfrey

  Giving, Mad, Hug

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• Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.

  Godfrey

  Men, Hey, Clown

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• Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.

  J. B. Smoove

  Thinking, Mirrors, People

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• I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it.

  J. B. Smoove

  Broken, Creation, Break

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• A lot of comedians are selfish.

  J. B. Smoove

  Selfish

  "Curb Your Enthusiasm's JB Smoove". Interview with Andy Seifert, www.avclub.com. June 16, 2010.

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• I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a lot of physical comedy. That was my thing. I was a physical comedian. I did anything and everything from running on a treadmill, I can paint a picture on stage of anything.

  J. B. Smoove

  Running, Growing Up, Men

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• I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.

  J. B. Smoove

  People, Actors, Pieces

  "J.B. Smoove Talks New Series ‘Bent,’ Plan To Become A Comedy Mogul". Interview with Brennan Williams, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 19, 2012.

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• 'The Walking Dead' was my favorite show before I even auditioned for it. That's every actor's dream, to be on a show that they're a fan of. It's just dark, and as a comedian, I'm drawn to dark things.

  Josh McDermitt

  Dream, Dark, Walking Dead

  "Q&A - Josh McDermitt (Eugene Porter)". www.amc.com.

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• Sometimes a photographer is a passenger, sometimes a person who stays in one place. What he watches changes constantly, but his watching never changes. He doesn't examine like a doctor, defend like a lawyer, analyze like a scholar, support like a priest, make people laugh like a comedian, or intoxicate like a singer. He only watches. This is enough. No, this is all I can do. All a photographer can do is watch. Therefore, a photographer has to watch all the time. He must face the object and make his entire body an eye. A photographer is someone who wagers everything on seeing.

  Shomei Tomatsu

  Eye, Doctors, People

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• A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

  Dolly Parton

  Thinking, People

  "Dolly Parton hopes 'Better Day' uplifts amid chaos". Interview with Aidin Vaziri, www.sfgate.com. July 17, 2011.

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