The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.
I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
the average man does not want to be free. he simply wants to be safe.
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
It is the fundamental theory of all the more recent American law...that the average citizen is half-witted, and hence not to be trusted to either his own devices or his own thoughts.
The cosmos is a gigantic flywheel making 10,000 revolutions per minute. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it.
For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.
Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.
The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.
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