Artie Lange Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.

  Artie Lange

  Play, Cards, Fine

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.

  Artie Lange

  Voting

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• Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

  Artie Lange

  Want

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• I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is.

  Artie Lange

  College, Thinking, Voice

  Interview With Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. January 7, 2010.

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• I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

  Artie Lange

  Drinking, Yankees, Years

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• I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust

  Artie Lange

  Angel, Yankees, Dust

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• Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.

  Artie Lange

  Firsts, Being Depressed, Website

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• I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, .. I think people have the same reaction. It reminds you of what it was like to be a kid, where everything is carefree and fun.

  Artie Lange

  Fun, Father, Kids

  5 Copy quote

• Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

  Artie Lange

  Drinking, Guy, Drug

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• I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

  Artie Lange

  Guy, Stability

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• Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

  Artie Lange

  Insulting, Sound, Want

  Interview with Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. January 7, 2010.

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• In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

  Artie Lange

  Birthday, Retirement, Party

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• You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.

  Artie Lange

  Girl, Father, Two

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• I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking

  Artie Lange

  Lying, Drinking, Fellas

  7 Copy quote

• All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.

  Artie Lange

  Mountain, Valleys, Purpose

  Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza (2014). “Crash and Burn”, p.1, Simon and Schuster

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• My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.

  Artie Lange

  Dad, Mind, My Dad

  Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza (2008). “Too Fat to Fish”, p.42, Spiegel & Grau

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• Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

  Artie Lange

  People, Comedian, Happens

  "Artie Lange’s chilling words pre-suicide attempt: ‘I have so much to live for’". Interview With Mandy Stadtmiller, nypost.com. January 8, 2010.

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• When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

  Artie Lange

  Black, Time Of My Life

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• I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem.

  Artie Lange

  Gambling, Years, Dresses

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• I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete.

  Artie Lange

  Athlete, Kids

  "Artie Lange’s chilling words pre-suicide attempt: ‘I have so much to live for’". Interview With Mandy Stadtmiller, nypost.com. January 8, 2010.

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• I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

  Artie Lange

  Dark, Artist, Wish

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• It's good to be alive.

  Artie Lange

  Alive

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• The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.

  Artie Lange

  Morning, Real, Laughing

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• It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world

  Artie Lange

  Guy, Boss, World

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• Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that

  Artie Lange

  Play, Two, Way

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