Brian Posehn Quotes

• I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.

  Brian Posehn

  Weed, Smoking, House

  9 Copy quote

• I do think certain kinds of music can make you violent. Like, when I listen to Nickelback, it makes me want to kill Nickelback.

  Brian Posehn

  Thinking, Want, Kind

  11 Copy quote

• Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

  Brian Posehn

  Feelings, Outsiders, Metals

  8 Copy quote

• I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

  Brian Posehn

  School, Bully, Nerd

  7 Copy quote

• Because I go outside sometimes, I'm exposed to terrible, terrible music in public.

  Brian Posehn

  Sometimes, Terrible, Exposed

  "Brian Posehn thinks Sublime fans are "terrible, stinkier" Juggalos". Interview with Marah Eakin, music.avclub.com. September 24, 2016.

  7 Copy quote

• Whenever you see riot footage on TV - you know, someone throwing a brick in Pakistan or somebody throwing a fiery piece of pooh through a Starbucks window up in Seattle - you ever see anybody throwing anything underhand? I think it just takes all the aggression out of the act.

  Brian Posehn

  Thinking, Pakistan, Pieces

  7 Copy quote

• We had our family tree done... turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side.

  Brian Posehn

  Family, Father, Gay

  8 Copy quote

• If I see a beautiful woman walking down the street, a pretty lady, I'll yell, 'Homo!' She can't get pissed, and I still get the pleasure of yelling at her.

  Brian Posehn

  Beautiful, Yelling, Pleasure

  8 Copy quote

• My friends are trying to get me to go out on blind dates. Big 'NO' to that because all my friends are a bunch of lying geeks. They're always like, 'Brian, you're really gonna dig this girl. She's got Traci Lords' eyes, Michelle Pfeiffer's nose, Kim Basinger's lips.' Yeah, they always forget to tell me she's also got Charlie Brown's head.

  Brian Posehn

  Girl, Lying, Eye

  4 Copy quote

• I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

  Brian Posehn

  Fighting, Cities, Guy

  8 Copy quote

• My act is pretty much me reflecting on what I want to talk about and what I think is funny and what has happened to me.

  Brian Posehn

  Thinking, Want, Reflecting

  5 Copy quote

• As a comic, I used to know more about pop culture.

  Brian Posehn

  Culture, Comic, Used

  "Brian Posehn on why he hates Katy Perry's 'Firework'". Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. July 12, 2013.

  5 Copy quote

• Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60. I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.

  Brian Posehn

  Thinking, Metal Fans, Years

  5 Copy quote

• Just got a new car - got a little Miata convertible. Pretty happy about it, except for one thing: I'm 6-foot-6, so now I look like a McDonald's toy.

  Brian Posehn

  Mcdonalds, Feet, Car

  4 Copy quote

• I was just surprised when my wife told me we were having a baby. I was like, Wow, that's awesome. You're going to make a great single mom.

  Brian Posehn

  Mom, Baby, Wife

  4 Copy quote

• Grew up in a small town where there was only one crazy guy. He didn't even go insane doing anything good, like going to 'Nam or having an extended acid trip. Turns out - legend has it - he just had some bad cheese.

  Brian Posehn

  Crazy, Guy, Insane

  4 Copy quote

• I wanted to be a vet before I got into comedy, but then once I found out how much gore goes into that job, I wanted nothing to do with it.

  Brian Posehn

  Jobs, Vets, Comedy

  "Immortalized Q&A – Judge Brian Posehn". Interview with Rachel Poliquin, www.amc.com. 2013.

  4 Copy quote

• Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.

  Brian Posehn

  Hate, People, Laughing

  7 Copy quote

• I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.

  Brian Posehn

  Pot, Smoke

  7 Copy quote

• Turns out, theres not a lot of information about pickles on the Internet.

  Brian Posehn

  Information, Pickles, Internet

  4 Copy quote

• I don't know if I was a poseur - I really did love metal, always - but I gave a lot of other things a chance. I wanted to meet, um, girls, so I would check out Depeche Mode. But mostly I wanted stuff with pentagrams and crowns of thorns on it.

  Brian Posehn

  Girl, Crowns, Thorns

  "Random Rules: Brian Posehn". Interview with Jason Heller, www.avclub.com. October 2, 2006.

  5 Copy quote

• I got into Kiss before I got into anybody. The first thing I heard was Detroit Rock City. I heard it in the school library, where I lived.

  Brian Posehn

  School, Kissing, Rocks

  "Random Rules: Brian Posehn". Interview with Jason Heller, www.avclub.com. February 10, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• Once I could drive, I spent all my time in the city going to metal shows. I missed the first couple of Metallica shows because I was lame. By the time I got into them, they were playing places like the Kabuki.

  Brian Posehn

  Couple, Cities, Lame

  4 Copy quote

• Metal is easily my favorite thing - Exodus and Anthrax and Megadeth - so it just kind of organically came through in the standup act.

  Brian Posehn

  Favorites Things, Kind, My Favorite

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• Guys don't do that when they go out. Guys don't wear outfits that feature the dong.

  Brian Posehn

  Guy, Outfits, Features

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