Brian Regan Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam. You don't want to get no 'D' on that thing and end up with these big thick Coke bottle glasses.

  Brian Regan

  Crazy, Eye, Glasses

  7 Copy quote

• When you're onstage, it's a communication technique when you make people laugh. You're communicating. You're communicating with other human beings and when they laugh you know that you're connecting. Laughing is an honest reaction and it's something that I can trust, and I love that feeling of knowing that I connected.

  Brian Regan

  Communication, Knowing, People

  4 Copy quote

• I eat like a kid. I like Chief Boyardee. Their Ravioli, but they have some stuff I've never seen in the real Italian food world. You ever been in a nice Italian restaurant? Hi how are you? Ummm id like to start with a nice bottle of Chanti and a couple of Caesar Salads and umm I'm going to have the Beef a'ronni. And some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the lady.

  Brian Regan

  Couple, Teenage, Nice

  5 Copy quote

• You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open TWO jars! I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars... cltaning, who KNOWS how many knives!?

  Brian Regan

  Knives, Two, Sandwiches

  "Brian Regan Live". Album by Brian Regan, 1997.

  8 Copy quote

• I wanted to do the comic strip. I tried to get it syndicated, and I sent some examples to a syndication company, and they sent me a rejection letter! I wasn't smart enough at the time to realize you shouldn't let rejection letters stop you. I thought that rejection letter meant I was not allowed to be a cartoonist in this world, so I put the rejection letter down and said, well, I'll be a stand-up comedian.

  Brian Regan

  Smart, Rejection, Comedian

  Source: www.citypaper.com

  7 Copy quote

• I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard physically and mentally. I consider myself a lucky person because I get to go on stage and tell jokes for an hour. If I miss a connection here and there or my room isn't ready now and then? It's not a big deal.

  Brian Regan

  Hard Work, Perspective, People

  Source: www.usatoday.com

  8 Copy quote

• You can poke fun at some pretty difficult circumstances, and it's just a way to pop the bubble. I don't do that thing onstage usually, but offstage sometimes I might.

  Brian Regan

  Fun, Might, Way

  7 Copy quote

• So when you do board, the first class people, they're sitting there. A lot of them are working as your boarding. They have computers out and calculators. They're looking up at you like, Hey, we're making money right now!

  Brian Regan

  Class, People, Boards

  4 Copy quote

• I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve.

  Brian Regan

  Newton, Figs, Sleeves

  "Brian Regan: I Walked on the Moon". Video, December 2004.

  4 Copy quote

• Superhero power... I probably would just want to fly. I definitely would not want to be able to see through walls. I think walls are there for a reason. People put them up for a reason. You don't want to be looking through them. That would only cause nothing but misery and angst to know what's happening behind people's walls.

  Brian Regan

  Wall, Thinking, People

  4 Copy quote

• Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. Could be their life long dream,
  and every time they ask for a pamphlet, all hell breaks loose.

  Brian Regan

  Dream, Long, Different

  6 Copy quote

• I like the honesty of standup comedy. People don't fake laugh. If they're truly laughing at you, you know they like you.

  Brian Regan

  Honesty, People, Laughing

  7 Copy quote

• The bigger the show, the weirder it is.

  Brian Regan

  Bigger, Shows

  Source: www.vulture.com

  7 Copy quote

• Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a different animal. People are being served nachos and there's a blender going off in the background.

  Brian Regan

  Animal, People, Focus

  Source: www.usatoday.com

  14 Copy quote

• I think the most horrible name for a crime has to be manslaughter. ... "I slaughtered a man! Just like a pig! Put him on a spit and put an apple in his mouth!"

  Brian Regan

  Funny, Men, Thinking

  "Brian Regan: The Epitome of Hyperbole". Stand up comedy, 2008.

  7 Copy quote

• It means a lot to me to have my kids like what I do. And that's why I limit them. But I don't want to put that pressure on them to be a fan of mine.

  Brian Regan

  Mean, Kids, Fans

  7 Copy quote

• I always hate having to use the equipment after these huge buff guys who move, like, the entire rack of plates. Then I get on, and move two plates, you know like: CLANK! CLANK! "I'm the two plate guy!" CLANK! CLANK! "Anyone wanna spot me?" CLANK! CLANK!

  Brian Regan

  Hate, Moving, Two

  TV Series "Comedy Central Presents" ("Brian Regan", 2000), www.imdb.com. (1998–).

  4 Copy quote

• I'm honored that other comedians like what I do. That means the world to me. But at the same time when I'm on stage I'm not just trying to make the comedians laugh - I'm also trying to make the audience laugh. I want to make everybody laugh.

  Brian Regan

  Mean, Laughing, Comedian

  Source: www.charlestoncitypaper.com

  4 Copy quote

• I have a friend who swears by food combinations - have you heard of this nonsense? She's nuts. She's like, 'You know what? You should eat food combinations, and that way you can eat whatever you want. It's just the combinations of how you put the food together.' And then her examples are like, 'You wouldn't want to eat steak and potatoes together, but you could have, like, a lemon rind and raisin skins - not the whole raisin, take the skins and steam them.

  Brian Regan

  Nuts, Skins, Together

  7 Copy quote

• Sometimes you'll play, like, a large venue - maybe an outdoor venue or something - where it's so big that you can see all of the disinterested people. You see the audience, but then behind the audience you see people eating ice cream, going for a walk.

  Brian Regan

  Ice Cream, Play, People

  Source: www.vulture.com

  4 Copy quote

• I don't always see humor in things. Especially when I smash my pinky toe into a coffee table leg in the middle of the night. But sometimes I'll see things, or experience things, that make me go, "Huh, maybe that's a bit."

  Brian Regan

  Coffee, Night, Toes

  Source: mauitime.com

  4 Copy quote

• A lot of the kind of comedy that I do comes out of real human moments. For them to work, they have to be truthful kinds of things that people in the audience can go, "Yes, I've experienced that myself!"

  Brian Regan

  Real, People, Comedy

  4 Copy quote

• The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd need to be able to be a creator. That's what I enjoy - I enjoy coming up with comedy, so it'd be very difficult for me to be sitting in a room and have somebody come in and say, "Here's your script! Learn these lines!" That's not fun. At least not for me.

  Brian Regan

  Fun, Thinking, Comedian

  4 Copy quote

• I try my jokes onstage. The only way to really find out if something is going to work is to try it on stage, and I try to be careful and bookend something new with a strong bit before and a strong bit afterwards. But it's fun to run on virgin snow. I like that feeling onstage of creating new footprints and not knowing what's going to happen.

  Brian Regan

  Running, Strong, Fun

  7 Copy quote

• Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks about donut sprinkles, it's not quite as important. Unless the U.S. Supreme Court makes a decision outlawing donut sprinkles.

  Brian Regan

  Decision, Important, Want

  Source: mauitime.com

  4 Copy quote

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