Elayne Boosler Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

  Elayne Boosler

  Sleep, Years, Fake

  4 Copy quote

• You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies.

  Elayne Boosler

  Dog, Tails, Steps

  5 Copy quote

• I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.'

  Elayne Boosler

  Beach, Dog, Husband

  "Occupy Wall Street — and What Charles Schwab Owes Kittens and Puppies" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 20, 2011.

  5 Copy quote

• I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.

  Elayne Boosler

  Thinking, Clothes, Want

  4 Copy quote

• What do hookers do on their nights off, type?

  Elayne Boosler

  Night, Type

  5 Copy quote

• To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

  Elayne Boosler

  Keys, Silence, Comedy

  17 Copy quote

• When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.

  Elayne Boosler

  New Year, Memories, Vegas

  "Elayne Boosler Maps Comedy Heaven And Hell On New Year’s Eve" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. December 6, 2011.

  9 Copy quote

• San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.

  Elayne Boosler

  Fun, San Francisco, People

  5 Copy quote

• The thing about breaking up when you get older, you just don't have the steam anymore. "Oh, that's it. I can't start shaving my legs above the knee again."

  Elayne Boosler

  Heartache, Shaving, Legs

  5 Copy quote

• Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full.

  Elayne Boosler

  Couple, Two, Speech

  5 Copy quote

• I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

  Elayne Boosler

  Ideas, America, Weight

  "Top 5 Things I’m Thankful for" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 24, 2010.

  10 Copy quote

• While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats; they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place; the comic strips.

  Elayne Boosler

  Cutting, Editors, Space

  "You Didn’t Hear the One About..." by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 4, 2010.

  5 Copy quote

• A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.

  Elayne Boosler

  Love, Women, Cat

  8 Copy quote

• I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.

  Elayne Boosler

  Jobs, Kids, Choices

  8 Copy quote

• Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers.

  Elayne Boosler

  Teenager, Turkeys, Names

  4 Copy quote

• I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.

  Elayne Boosler

  Running, Cities, Way

  6 Copy quote

• There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.

  Elayne Boosler

  Comedian, Bombs, Casinos

  4 Copy quote

• I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.

  Elayne Boosler

  Opportunity, Issues, Equal

  5 Copy quote

• Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.

  Elayne Boosler

  Citizens, Vote, Equal

  7 Copy quote

• I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a museum and see nothing but prints of dogs playing cards.

  Elayne Boosler

  Dog, Art, America

  5 Copy quote

• I don't categorize myself. I don't think I'm perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many men as women.

  Elayne Boosler

  Men, Thinking, Fans

  4 Copy quote

• My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant.

  Elayne Boosler

  Religious, My Family, Non Religious

  7 Copy quote

• I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.

  Elayne Boosler

  Intelligent, Pages, Able

  "You Didn’t Hear the One About..." by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 4, 2010.

  4 Copy quote

• Horse racing is waning in popularity.

  Elayne Boosler

  Horse, Racing, Popularity

  "Mr. Ed, It’s What’s for Dinner" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. December 1, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

• I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better, is palpable and moving. There is true caring, sharing, and refreshingly naïve hope.

  Elayne Boosler

  Wall, Moving, Caring

  "Occupy Wall Street — and What Charles Schwab Owes Kittens and Puppies" by By Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 20, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

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