Jon Stewart Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything.

  Jon Stewart

  Careers, Looks, Want

  Orange County Register, July 9, 1999.

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• The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party

  Jon Stewart

  Stars, Party, Night

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• How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

  Jon Stewart

  Inspirational, Moving On, Graduation

  Commencement Address at The College of William & Mary, delivered 21 May 2004

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• Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

  Jon Stewart

  Funny, God, Sorry

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• Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge made that critical leap from 'be afraid' to 'be very afraid,' raising the terrorist threat level to orange for financial sectors in New York, Washington, D.C., and northern New Jersey. ... Ridge's announcement comes amidst reports he will step down as head of homeland security after the election. Ridge himself has refused to comment on the story, though colleagues say he has often expressed a desire to spend more time at home, scaring his family.

  Jon Stewart

  New York, Home, Orange

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• A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.

  Jon Stewart

  Thinking, People, Guy

  "Jon Stewart on Beck's remark to Keith Ellison: 'Finally, a guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking'". "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart", www.mediamatters.org. November 16, 2006.

  9 Copy quote

• We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.

  Jon Stewart

  Together, Foxes, Nations

  "Stewart: FOX Failed To Mention Co-Owner Is One They Accuse Of ‘Terror Funding’" by Katla McGlynn, www.huffingtonpost.com. August 24, 2010.

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• The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'

  Jon Stewart

  Death, Suicide, Lasts

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• If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas would certainly be ripe. You would think that if you bring oxygen to the organism, the organism lives. But there may be other organisms in there that thrive in darkness and in a more anaerobic environment. Watching those creatures writhe will always be interesting.

  Jon Stewart

  Thinking, Oxygen, Interesting

  "No News is Good News" by Adam Bulger, The Hartford Advocate, June 12, 2008.

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• Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

  Jon Stewart

  Graduation, Fall, Age

  Commencement Address at The College of William & Mary, delivered 21 May 2004

  13 Copy quote

• We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complained, we just never thought of putting it to music.

  Jon Stewart

  Years, Suffering, Persecution

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• People would like to place a standard on our show that doesn't exist. We're not set up for reporting; we don't have an apparatus for that. We're discussing things that hopefully people might get something out of, but it's wildly inconsistent. Just because we hit on points that resonate, or people think are real complaints - that doesn't make us journalists.

  Jon Stewart

  Real, Thinking, People

  "No News is Good News" by Adam Bulger, The Hartford Advocate, June 12, 2008.

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• The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

  Jon Stewart

  Graduation, Curriculum, Life Is

  Jon Stewart's Commencement Address at the College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, VA, www.wm.edu. May 20, 2004.

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• Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I would more entrust the future of this country to than this one. There is a tendency to live in a nostalgic state in this country, and to think that other generations possessed an integrity and a tenacity greater than the generation that is now. I wholeheartedly disagree with that. I believe that this is a group that will rise up to any challenge that comes before them as well as any other generation in America would have done.

  Jon Stewart

  Country, Integrity, Believe

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• The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

  Jon Stewart

  Church, Baptists, Chickens

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• Bush proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Some saw the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others saw it as a cynical ploy to ensure that Vice President... Cheney will never have to pay for his gay daughter's wedding.

  Jon Stewart

  Daughter, Moving, Gay

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• I masturbate. A lot. And yet, I don't floss because it's too much of a hassle. Ten seconds of joy over a lifetime of tooth decay, that's what I've chosen.

  Jon Stewart

  Joy, Teeth, Decay

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• We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

  Jon Stewart

  Mother, Dry, Earth

  "Earth (The Book): A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race". Book by Jon Stewart, 2010.

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• After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2 a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car, but I need a ride home.'

  Jon Stewart

  Mom, War, Home

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• Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding... that's extraordinary. And that's why we have already won... they can't... it's light. It's democracy. They can't shut that down.

  Jon Stewart

  Country, Blow, Light

  "Video: Revisiting Jon Stewart's Post-9/11 Speech On 'The Daily Show'". "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart, gothamist.com. September 20, 2001.

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• There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

  Jon Stewart

  Imagination, Sparks, Ships

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• Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama and all things Democratic, to advance its ultimate objective of creating a deliberately misinformed body politic whose fear, anger, mistrust, and discontent is the manna upon which it sustains its parasitic succubus-like existence.

  Jon Stewart

  Creating, Body, Foxes

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• The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.

  Jon Stewart

  Games, Trying, Blame

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• You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting reactions on our show. People are constantly saying, "I love your-your show is so funny, until you made a joke about global warming, which is a serious issue, and I can't believe you did that. And I am never watching your show again."

  Jon Stewart

  Believe, Love You, Thinking

  Interview with Bill Moyers, www.pbs.org. April 27, 2007.

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• I don't want to die before my parents die, especially my mother. Because I think that's tragic. Because I don't want her to get the chance to pick out what I'm going to wear for eternity.

  Jon Stewart

  Mother, Thinking, Parent

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