Jon Stewart Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It’s Romney’s inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse that’s a little offensive to people. Especially considering Romney’s view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I don’t know, food and medicine.

  Jon Stewart

  Government, Views, Medicine

  "Jon Stewart Rips Into Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital, Tax Return Defense" by Christine Friar, www.huffingtonpost.com. July 17, 2012.

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• The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.

  Jon Stewart

  Just Being, Becoming, Oppression

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• If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

  Jon Stewart

  Hate, Blessed, Oil

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• Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot." [Hosting the Peabody Awards for broadcasting excellence at the New York Waldorf-Astoria, June 6, 2006]

  Jon Stewart

  Country, New York, War

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• Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

  Jon Stewart

  Redneck, America, States

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• By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

  Jon Stewart

  Dream, Broken, Bottles

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• Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.

  Jon Stewart

  Dream, Bed, Pockets

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• I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

  Jon Stewart

  Nice, Eye, News

  "Jon Stewart’s Best Lines From 'Rumble' Debate With Bill O’Reilly (LIST)", www.huffingtonpost.com. October 7, 2012.

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• People! Take to the streets and scream 'BE REASONABLE!'

  Jon Stewart

  People, Scream, Streets

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• They have to put Trump on every program, spewing his crazy ideas, because his poll numbers are so high. And his poll numbers are so high because they put him on every program, spewing his crazy ideas.

  Jon Stewart

  Crazy, Ideas, Numbers

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• The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I'm advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians.

  Jon Stewart

  Media, Corporations, Journalism

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• A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, "When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off."

  Jon Stewart

  Jesus, Easter, Believe

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• It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.

  Jon Stewart

  Country, Wonder, Our Country

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• Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.

  Jon Stewart

  America, Conservative, Lost

  "Jon Stewart on Fake News". billmoyers.com. April 27, 2007.

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• Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

  Jon Stewart

  Inspiration, Insomnia

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• Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.

  Jon Stewart

  Thinking, Broken, Brain

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• It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were obsessed with the moon and whether we could one day visit it. The day we finally walked on it was celebrated worldwide as perhaps man's greatest achievement. But it was while we were there, gathering rocks from the moon's desolate landscape, that we looked up and caught a glimpse of just how incredible our own planet was. Its singular astonishing beauty. We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

  Jon Stewart

  Mother, Moon, Men

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• Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.

  Jon Stewart

  Glasses, Dragons, People

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• The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.

  Jon Stewart

  Media, Laziness, Conflict

  Interview with Chris Wallace, www.foxnews.com. June 19, 2011.

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• Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.

  Jon Stewart

  Hands, Burgers, Crime

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• You know, I just want to say to her (Sarah Palin), just very quickly...F-- you.

  Jon Stewart

  Want, Palin, Knows

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• I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.

  Jon Stewart

  Giving, Upset, Care

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• Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

  Jon Stewart

  House, Sound, Worship

  "The Daily Show". www.imdb.com. 1996.

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• Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't ear for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little Lent. What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail.

  Jon Stewart

  Holiday, Years, One Day

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• This is what happens when you don't let gays marry; they start designing clothes out of spite.

  Jon Stewart

  Gay, Clothes, Design

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