David Sedaris Quotes - Page 13

Quotes about:

• The difference between the first time I read something and the tenth time I read something is generally pretty profound. Even if the script is the same, just the way that I read it is different.

  David Sedaris

  Differences, Profound, Different

  Source: www.motherjones.com

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• In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use that right.

  David Sedaris

  Dream, Gay, America

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• I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot of grief, but I'm pretty sure that after high school, this girl would have started anyway, especially if she chose the army over community college.

  David Sedaris

  Girl, Grief, School

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• I met a young woman the other day, and she said, what advice would you have for a writer, and I said it would be to work every day... Your job is to write. The rest of it will take care of itself. But, generally, it seems ... you know how that is, you meet people and they have a talent for self-promotion. Those are the pushy people. And you know their writing's not going to be any good, because that's not their talent.

  David Sedaris

  Jobs, Writing, Self

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• God was someone I wound up turning over and over in my mind each night... Was He punishing me with this meal or was He rewarding me? Did He actively watch me or take me for granted like a fish you don't notice until it's floating on the surface of the tank?

  David Sedaris

  God, Night, Mind

  David Sedaris (2010). “Naked”, p.137, Hachette UK

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• ...clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building something.

  David Sedaris

  Building Something, Building

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• What can you say about the family who is suing the railroad after their drunk son was killed walking on the tracks? Trains don't normally sneak up on people. Unless they've derailed, you pretty much know where to find them.

  David Sedaris

  Son, People, Track

  David Sedaris (2000). “Me talk pretty one day”

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• The difference between writing where you know where to draw the line and writing where you're being way too mean is whether you can tell that the writer is not talking to family or friends anymore. Generally, if you say something bad about somebody on stage, you need to say two bad things about yourself. A lot of times, I think I'm the worst person in the room.

  David Sedaris

  Writing, Mean, Thinking

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• I don't like being left to my own thoughts.

  David Sedaris

  My Own, Left

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• I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.

  David Sedaris

  Events, Made, Bigs

  Interview with Novid Parsi, www.timeout.com. May 27, 2008.

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• I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.

  David Sedaris

  Family, Checks, Shows

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• Famous people like to choose friends who won't go around repeating their conversations and details about them.

  David Sedaris

  People, Details, Conversation

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. October 8, 2014.

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• Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered.

  David Sedaris

  Winning, Awards, Wish

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• I would start by writing to an adult, maybe a high school teacher, or maybe an aunt or uncle, and writing and telling them why you want to go to a particular university. That's probably what you would actually sound like. Then write your letter to the university, and put those 2 versions in front of you, and look at the difference between those 2 things.

  David Sedaris

  Teacher, Uncles, Writing

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. October 8, 2014.

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• It is never appropriate to comment on a woman's breasts. I would never do it on the street or at a supermarket, but when I'm sitting a table signing books, sometimes I notice that a woman will have remarkable breasts. And I will maybe quietly say something about it. It's not in a sexual way, because I'm a gay man - I would never say to a man "great ass" because that would be sort of creepy.. I hope it's not creepy to quietly tell a woman she has nice breasts.

  David Sedaris

  Nice, Book, Gay

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• If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.

  David Sedaris

  Vacuums, Done, Bathroom

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. October 8, 2014.

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• When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.

  David Sedaris

  Eye, Crow, Pluck

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• When I taught, a lot of my students weren't big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought it belonged in a book. Like, they didn't know what the inside of a book looked like, you know what I mean?

  David Sedaris

  Book, Writing, Mean

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• I tend to write things seven times before I show them to my editor. I write them seven times, then I take them on tour, read them like a dozen times on tour, then go back to the room and rewrite, read and rewrite... I would never show him a first draft, because then he's really going to be sick of it by the twelfth draft.

  David Sedaris

  Writing, Editing, Editors

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• My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there's a short in the system and I break out over things I didn't do, which only makes me look more suspect.

  David Sedaris

  Sweat, Guilt, Break Out

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• I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous.

  David Sedaris

  Mom, Dad, Jealous

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