Toilets Quotes - Page 5

• From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

  Ade Edmondson

  People, Age, Roaring

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back

  Robin Williams

  Inspiration, Speed, Used

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• Clearly, some time ago makers and consumers of American junk food passed jointly through some kind of sensibility barrier in the endless quest for new taste sensations. Now they are a little like those desperate junkies who have tried every known drug and are finally reduced to mainlining toilet bowl cleanser in an effort to get still higher.

  Bill Bryson

  Food, Effort, Drug

  Bill Bryson (1989). “The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-town America”, p.25, VNR AG

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• To wash one's hair, make one's toilet, and put on scented robes; even if not a soul sees one, these preparations still produce an inner pleasure.

  Sei Shonagon

  Hair, Self, Soul

  Sei Shōnagon (1967). “The Pillow Book of Sei Shōnagon”

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• Individuals interested in donating can call The Bridge. We do still need food, paper products, money, cleaning supplies - if people could call and coordinate donations. People loved donating clothing to The Bridge - it was an avenue; if they could put their focus on collecting cleaning supplies - toilet paper, food etc. - these items are a priority.

  Maggie Elizabeth Jones

  Bridges, People, Focus

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• Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.

  Kevin Hearne

  Ideas, Two, People

  Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.293, Del Rey

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• Mothers born on relief have their babies on relief. Nothingness, truly, seems to be the condition of these New York people. They are nomads going from one rooming house to another, looking for a toilet that functions.

  Elizabeth Hardwick

  Mother, Baby, New York

  Elizabeth Hardwick (2017). “The Collected Essays of Elizabeth Hardwick”, p.107, New York Review of Books

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• Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.

  Cynthia Heimel

  Airplane, Men, Feet

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• Before you rip off three feet of toilet paper, consider that each year 500,000 acres of virgin boreal forest in northern Alberta and Ontario are being clear-cut to make the stuff. These forests are home to some 500 First Nation communities, as well as caribou and bears, moose and wolves, and, in the summertime, billions of songbirds.

  Alex Shoumatoff

  Rip, Home, Cutting

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• Leaders win through logistics. Vision, sure. Strategy, yes. But when you go to war, you need to have both toilet paper and bullets at the right place at the right time. In other words, you must win through superior logistics.

  Tom Peters

  War, Winning, Leader

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• You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.

  Don Van Vliet

  Umpires, Judging, House

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• People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Work, Coffee

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• "Our first conversation was on the phone. I was in the bathtub, and I had to tell him that I was in the bathtub because I was afraid he would think I was, like, playing in the toilet when he heard water swishing around. [...] Then we had breakfast in Santa Monica, and I spit egg inside of his mouth when I was talking.

  Jennifer Lawrence

  Life, Thinking, Talking

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• I loved being in Trainspotting and having to dive into the filthiest toilet in Scotland.

  Ewan McGregor

  Scotland, Trainspotting

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• I won't eat in a restaurant with filthy bathrooms. This isn't a hard call. They let you see the bathrooms. If the restaurant can't be bothered to replace the puck in the urinal or keep the toilets and floors clean, then just imagine what their refrigeration and work spaces look like.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Space, Looks, Puck

  Anthony Bourdain (2001). “Kitchen Confidential”, p.68, A&C Black

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• Art is too popular. If plumbing was as popular as art is we would have amateur plumbers running around brandishing wrenches and Roto-Rooters, climbing in and out of sewers and writing gibberish about pipe systems. And none of our our toilets would work.

  Walter Darby Bannard

  Running, Art, Writing

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• In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

  Mark Twain

  Book, Ideas, America

  Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.4281, Delphi Classics

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• Zen is to religion what a Japanese "rock garden" is to a garden. Zen knows no god, no afterlife, no good and no evil, as the rock-garden knows no flowers, herbs or shrubs. It has no doctrine or holy writ: its teaching is transmitted mainly in the form of parables as ambiguous as the pebbles in the rock-garden which symbolise now a mountain, now a fleeting tiger. When a disciple asks "What is Zen?", the master's traditional answer is "Three pounds of flax" or "A decaying noodle" or "A toilet stick" or a whack on the pupil's head.

  Arthur Koestler

  Flower, Teaching, Garden

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• I never think about themes. I let the music create itself. I like it to be a potpourri of all kinds of sounds, all kinds of colors, something for everybody, from the farmer in Ireland to the lady who scrubs toilets in Harlem.

  Michael Jackson

  Thinking, Color, Sound

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• No one goes to the toilet in novels. You'd think none of us had bladders.

  Germaine Greer

  Thinking, Bladder, Novel

  "Newsnight Review", July 24, 2009.

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• I was a maid, so cleaning toilets wasn't my favorite thing, but honestly, standing outside all day in the cold was worse.

  Kristin Bauer van Straten

  Favorites Things, Maids, Cleaning

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I think women are really vicious in the work place, they're really jealous, really competitive. Women are emotional, they cry in toilets. The sisterhood only extends as far as the kitchen door. Men talk in logic and rational terms, they don't squark and make a noise.

  Katie Hopkins

  Jealous, Sisterhood, Men

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• One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas?

  Kelly Williams Brown

  Running, Pandas, Paper

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• Neil Shepard's (T)RAVEL/ UN(T)RAVEL takes us from the sublime -- Paris in Spring, sunset on Corfu -- to an unscheduled toilet stop in a Chinese desert as fellow passengers cheer. Yes, there's light at the heart of this book; but darkness too, as the world and the traveler unravel and re-ravel, fall together, come apart. Shepard proves the best sort of traveling companion -- lively, observant, incisive, eloquent, charmed by the strange and familiar, the old and new. Climb aboard these poems. Enjoy the ride.

  Charles Harper Webb

  Cheer, Spring, Fall

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• Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper

  Daphne Zuniga

  Paper, Forests, Toilet Paper

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