Toilets Quotes - Page 2

• You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

  George Carlin

  Feelings, Chocolate, Bars

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• We built everything - toilets included. I think those islands in the middle of nowhere are quite poetic. It's kind of an Oriental Atlantis.

  Karl Lagerfeld

  Thinking, Islands, Middle Of Nowhere

  4 Copy quote

• And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

  Bill Cosby

  Dentist, Miniatures, Bowls

  4 Copy quote

• Not to go to the theater is like making one's toilet without a mirror.

  Arthur Schopenhauer

  Mirrors, Theater

  Arthur Schopenhauer (1902*). “Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer: Selected and Translated by T. Bailey Saunders”

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• I can install toilets. I know all about the wax ring. I can tile floors. I'm learning how to do basic wiring.

  Sandra Bullock

  Tiles, Rings, Wiring

  8 Copy quote

• I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30, and people are pointing at me, saying, Look at the big movie star. Look where he is now. I just said, I'm where God put me.

  Willie Aames

  Stars, People, Looks

  49 Copy quote

• You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

  Art Donovan

  Water, Bigs, Knows

  15 Copy quote

• New York, like London, seems to be a cloacina [toilet] of all the depravities of human nature.

  Thomas Jefferson

  New York, London, Human Nature

  9 Copy quote

• Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.

  Rex Reed

  Art, Sound, Paper

  7 Copy quote

• European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.

  Dave Barry

  Soccer, Use, Paper

  "Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". Book by Dave Barry, 1991.

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• The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Funny, Archer, Humor

  "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

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• Remember, if you write anything nasty about me, I'll come around and blow up your toilet.

  Courtney Love

  Writing, Blow, Nasty

  4 Copy quote

• People think you have this exciting and romantic life, because you project this exciting, romantic life on screen. But in reality you're just doing the same thing as everyone else - you know, sitting around watching TV with your gut hanging out, playing with your kid, or even sitting on the toilet. You know what's weird? Even I'm not that interested in my personal life any more.

  Ben Affleck

  Kids, Reality, Thinking

  "Ben Affleck: I quit drinking to be good husband". Interview, www.mirror.co.uk. May 30, 2008.

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• Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

  Erma Bombeck

  Spring, Real, Coffee

  15 Copy quote

• I'd find it demeaning to be cleaning toilets.

  Jack Kevorkian

  Cleaning, Demeaning

  85 Copy quote

• Never thought I’d intentionally sleep on a bathromm floor next to a toilet while sober, but I meant it when I said I would sleep anywhere with her.

  J.A. Redmerski

  Sleep, Next, Sober

  6 Copy quote

• Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Owning A Pet, Adorable, Literature

  39 Copy quote

• Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.

  Woody Allen

  Paper, Problem, Ten

  37 Copy quote

• [Americans] can't understand that the water in our toilet is cleaner than 880 million have access to.

  Matt Damon

  Water, Cleaners, Access

  Source: www.pbs.org

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• You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

  Alan King

  Funny, Marriage, Witty

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• In many parts of the world, more people have access to a mobile device than to a toilet or running water...

  Nancy Gibbs

  Running, Water, People

  "Your Life Is Fully Mobile" by Nancy Gibbs, techland.time.com. August 16, 2012.

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• I'm like toilet paper, toothpaste and certain amenities - I'm proven to be good. I've still got 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years left.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Years, Paper, Toothpaste

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• As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to.

  Haruki Murakami

  Running, Paper, Marathon

  Haruki Murakami (1993). “Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World: A Novel”, Vintage

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• I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?

  Wendy Liebman

  Mother, Memorable, Cat

  10 Copy quote

• With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity.

  Samuel Johnson

  Vanity, Lost, Endeavor

  Samuel Johnson (1811). “Works”, p.368

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