Sarcastic Quotes - Page 6

• We have the best government that money can buy.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Money, Sarcasm

  121 Copy quote

• Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.

  Jackie Gleason

  Girl, Passion, Actors

  9 Copy quote

• If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

  Cynthia Heimel

  Funny, Ifs

  Cynthia Heimel (2002). “If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!”, Grove Press

  45 Copy quote

  Show source

• She is a water bug on the surface of life.

  Gloria Steinem

  Water, Bugs, Surface

  8 Copy quote

• He was a bit like a corkscrew. Twisted, cold and sharp.

  Kate Cruise O'Brien

  Cold, Twisted, Bits

  Kate Cruise O'Brien (1980). “A gift horse, and other stories”, Olympic Marketing Corp

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.

  David Lloyd George

  Iron, Long, Soul

  34 Copy quote

• I've had them both, and I don't think much of either.

  Beatrix Lehmann

  Thinking

  11 Copy quote

• He makes a July's day short as December.

  William Shakespeare

  July, December

  1609 Polixenes, of Mamillius. The Winter's Tale, act1, sc.2, l.170.

  11 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  A good conscience is a continual Christmas.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Happiness, Christmas, Honesty

  Benjamin Franklin (2004). “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.92, Barnes & Noble Publishing

  102 Copy quote

  Show source

• He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

  Mark Twain

  Inspiration, Useless, Cabbage

  Mark Twain (2015). “Pudd'nhead Wilson”, p.129, Xist Publishing

  22 Copy quote

  Show source

• [on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

  Billy Wilder

  Life, Music, Witty

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  12 Copy quote

  Show source

• For your information, I would like to ask a question.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Witty, Sarcasm

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Book, Beer

  "The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations". Book by Connie Robertson, 1996.

  13 Copy quote

  Show source

• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Birthday

  119 Copy quote

• I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, God, Appreciation

  Oscar Wilde (2012). “Oscar Wilde's Wit and Wisdom: A Book of Quotations”, p.12, Courier Corporation

  21 Copy quote

  Show source

• This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.

  Sigmund Freud

  Funny, Witty, Race

  68 Copy quote

• Her only flair is in her nostrils.

  Pauline Kael

  Memorable, Flair

  Pauline Kael (1996). “Raising Kane and Other Essays”, Marion Boyars Publishers

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

  Mark Twain

  Inspiration, Sea, Sight

  Mark Twain (1960). “The autobiography of Mark Twain: including chapters now published for the first time”

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life.

  Ivy Compton-Burnett

  Memorable, Hanging On, Pushing

  10 Copy quote

• You're a parasite for sore eyes.

  Gregory Ratoff

  Eye, Parasites, Sore Eyes

  63 Copy quote

• He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds.

  Percival Wilde

  Enemy, Soap Bubbles, Made

  8 Copy quote

• He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.

  John Wilmot

  Wise, Foolish, Said

  10 Copy quote

• Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Fitness

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

  170 Copy quote

  Show source

• She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did.

  Ada Leverson

  People, Said

  Ada Leverson (2012). “Love at Second Sight”, p.42, tredition

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• America is one long expectoration.

  Oscar Wilde

  America, Long, Insulting

  John Stuart Anderson, Oscar Wilde (1982). “The picture of Dorian Gray: a modern theatre adaptation of Oscar Wilde's classic novel”

  7 Copy quote

  Show source