Sarcasm Quotes - Page 14

• Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Sarcastic

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.88, St. Martin's Press

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• This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didn't know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more than that I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.

  Stephenie Meyer

  Hurt, Pain, Eye

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• It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

  Oscar Wilde

  Graduation, Witty, Money

  Oscar Wilde (2016). “Aphorisms”, p.4, Oscar Wilde

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• Well, I'd certainly hate to interrupt your pleasant night stroll with my sudden death." He blinked. "There is a fine line between sarcasm and outright hostility, and you seem to have crossed it. What's up?

  Cassandra Clare

  Hate, Night, Lines

  Cassandra Clare (2008). “City of Bones”, p.216, Simon and Schuster

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• The arrow always tipped with ill nature and sarcasm is deadliest to him who sends it.

  Prentice Mulford

  Law Of Attraction, Arrows, Ill

  Prentice Mulford (2016). “Thoughts are Things”, p.26, Prentice Mulford

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• Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Inspirational, Funny, Death

  "What Happens When the Average Lifespan Hits 100?" by Megan Erickson, bigthink.com.

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• A careful blending of sarcasm, irony, and teasing, bickering has its own distinctive cadence and rhythm and is as difficult to master as French, Spanish, or any elective second language. Like Chinese, the fine points of bickering can be discerned in the subtle rise and fall of the voice. If not practiced properly, bickering can be mistaken for its less sophisticated counterpart: whining.

  Linda Sunshine

  Fall, Voice, Chinese

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• Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane." "They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down." "Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed." Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down.

  Cassandra Clare

  Humor, Should Have, Cities

  Cassandra Clare (2012). “Cassandra Clare: The Mortal Instruments Series (5 books): City of Bones; City of Ashes; City of Glass; City of Fallen Angels, City of Lost Souls”, p.1118, Simon and Schuster

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• Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable.

  Nick Hornby

  Compassion, Two, Quality

  Nick Hornby (2003). “Songbook”, p.123, Penguin

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• Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

  Kristen Schaal

  Sarcastic, Print

  Interview with Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. January 20, 2011.

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• My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

  Jeff Ross

  Uncles, Aunt, Grandparent

  "Comedy, Then and Now: Laughing With the Legends of Stand-Up From the 1800’s to 2010" by Steve North, www.huffingtonpost.com. August 6, 2010.

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• My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must.

  Bruce LaBruce

  Sarcastic, Strong, Mean

  "Brucito Subversivo". Interview with Jane Harris, logger.believermag.com. May 29, 2014.

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• Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

  George Bernard Shaw

  Love, Life, Sex

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• The right of education of the female sex, as it is in a manner everywhere neglected, so it ought to be generally lamented. Most in this depraved later age think a woman learned and wise enough if she can distinguish her husband's bed from another's.

  Hannah Woolley

  Wise, Sex, Husband

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• They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Unemployment, Balls

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• If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Funny, Sarcastic, Book

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• People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, People, Sitting Down

  Ogden Nash (1941). “The face is familiar: the selected verse of Ogden Nash”, Garden City publishing company, inc

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• Few authors are so interesting as their work - they generally reserve their wit or trenchant sarcasm for their books.

  Alec-Tweedie

  Book, Interesting, Wit

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• Sarcasm mascarades as the Preppy's sense of humor.

  Lisa Birnbach

  Sense Of Humor, Preppy

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• A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.

  Abba Eban

  Sarcastic, Believe, Mean

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• Might I trouble you to open the window, for chloroform vapour does not help the palate.

  Arthur Conan Doyle

  Humorous, Doe, Chloroform

  Arthur Conan Doyle (2014). “Sherlock Holmes. Selected Stories”, p.313, OUP Oxford

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• What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

  Fred Allen

  Inspirational, Sarcastic, Mind

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• Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

  Robert Benchley

  Inspirational, Funny, Sarcastic

  "With Truth as Our Sword". Book by C. E. Sylvester, February 2005.

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• Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.155, University of Georgia Press

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• Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Peace, Freedom

  "George Carlin: Doin' It Again", www.imdb.com. 1990.

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