Sarcasm Quotes - Page 11

• There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!

  Arthur Conan Doyle

  Humorous, Race, Limits

  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (Illustrated)”, p.1779, Delphi Classics

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• If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

  Charlie Pierce

  Funny, Sarcastic, Mother

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• A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Littles

  'The Critic as Artist' pt. 2 in 'Intentions' (1891)

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• Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.

  Josh Billings

  Sarcastic, Angel, Men

  Josh Billings (1913). “Wit and Wisdom of Josh Billings [pseud.]: Choice Bits of Fun and Philosophy of the Great Humorist Carefully Collected and Revised”

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• It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

  Josh Billings

  Sarcastic, Money, Men

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• Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin. Don't die. I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me. Kat scoffed at his sarcasm. What are you bitching about, Xypher? You're already dead. He laughed. You know, for once, it's good to be me.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Simple, Games, Impossible

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2007). “Devil May Cry: A Dark-Hunter Novel”, p.345, Macmillan

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• Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.

  Ingmar Bergman

  Sarcastic, Differences, Satisfying

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

  Josh Billings

  Sarcastic, Cost, Poverty

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• It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

  Thomas Beecham

  Sarcastic, People, Appreciate

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• My job is not to talk smack about anything. This is why I dislike strongly doing magazine articles: My personality does not translate to print. People don't read it as sarcasm, and it just comes off badly.

  Sandra Bullock

  Jobs, People, Personality

  "She's Strong, She's Sexy, She's Sandra Bullock". Interview with Anne Fletcher, www.glamour.com. May 31, 2009.

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• Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"

  Eddie Izzard

  Girl, Sarcastic, Sex

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• I like sarcasm. I like snark.

  Alexis Ohanian

  Source: bigthink.com

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• Crime is rampant. We even steal away from responsibility.

  Andre Brie

  Sarcastic, Responsibility, Stealing

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• One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

  Kin Hubbard

  Cute, Sarcastic, Morning

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• Aphorisms should be peaks - and those who are addressed, tall and lofty. The air thin and pure, danger near, and the spirit full of gay sarcasm: these go well together.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Gay, Air, Together

  Friedrich Nietzsche (1977). “The Portable Nietzsche”, p.99, Penguin

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• ...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'

  Mark Twain

  Angel, Men, Curiosity

  Mark Twain, Paul Baender (1973). “What Is Man? and Other Philosophical Writings”, p.405, Univ of California Press

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• The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once.

  Andre Brie

  Sarcastic, Men, Atmosphere

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• It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

  Mark Twain

  Sweet, Jealous, Light

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• History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

  Ludwig Borne

  Funny, Vices, Virtue

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• South Sea natives who have been exposed to American movies classify them into two types, 'kiss-kiss' and 'bang-bang.

  Hortense Powdermaker

  Funny, Movie, Kissing

  Hollywood, the Dream Factory: An Anthropologist Looks at the Movie-Makers introduction (1950)

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• I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. And when I started having kids, that doesn't work with kids. Kids don't understand sarcasm, and they certainly don't understand my humor.

  Kurt Fuller

  Kids, Having Kids, Rely

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• Don't consider sarcasm the 'be-all' and 'end-all' of verbal intercourse. Far too many people place way too much importance on the sarcasm instead of the talking, in and of itself, as a precious shared experience between people.

  Adam Rifkin

  Talking, People, Too Much

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• A lot of people try to use sarcasm to flirt, and it tends not to read well. Most people who are successful at flirting do so via instant message instead of email. The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her. Ask thoughtful questions. Take a keen interest in the conversation. Be enthusiastic.

  Amy Webb

  Successful, Thoughtful, Flirting

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• Sarcasm is an abuse of the intellect.

  Hazrat Inayat Khan

  Abuse, Intellect

  Hazrat Inayat Khan (1960). “The Sufi Message of Hazrat Inayat Khan: The Gathas”, p.101, Library of Alexandria

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• Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Piano Music, Piano Playing

  Impressions of America (1906). The Newark (Ohio) Daily Advocate, 20 Apr. 1883, describes an afterdinner speech made by Wilde in Paris about his experiences in the United States: "The brightest and best of the many stories he related was one to the effect that at a ball in Leadville he saw a notice over the piano which read: 'Please don't shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.' "

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