Sarcasm Quotes - Page 12

• Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava floes destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, "Gee, this is swell," then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents.

  Dave Barry

  Teenager, Rain, Player

  "Whining Down The Country's Roads With Dave Barry And Family". community.seattletimes.nwsource.com. September 1, 1991.

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• A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

  Dana Gould

  Thinking, People, Insecurity

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• People don't understand sarcasm, like, they take everything too seriously. People need to lighten up and go ice skating.

  Daniel Johns

  Ice, People, Skating

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• Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.

  Ludwig Borne

  Sarcastic, Fall, Bread

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• I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it. I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here.

  Bill Hicks

  Jesus, Lying, Men

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• The best philosophical attitude to adopt towards the world is a union of the sarcasm of gaiety with the indulgence of contempt.

  Nicolas Chamfort

  Attitude, Philosophical, World

  Sébastien-Roch-Nicolas Chamfort (1902). “The Cynic's Breviary: Maxims and Anecdotes from Nicolas de Chamfort”

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• a sarcastic expression, on a beast, is far more sinister than rage.

  Anne Bosworth Greene

  Sarcastic, Expression, Beast

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• Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin.

  James Thurber

  Humor, Doe, Irony

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• Am I horny enough to hump a bedpost?" Mica asked. "Not quite yet. Should I consult with you first, Doctor?" Sarcasm lay thick and heavy in her voice. "I believe a consult would be a good idea." Ely nodded with mocking solemnity as Mica lifted herself onto the gurney. "You never know what you may end up hurting if the act isn't done properly.

  Lora Leigh

  Hurt, Believe, Doctors

  Lora Leigh (2011). “Navarro's Promise”, p.141, Penguin

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• 

  Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

  Hedy Lamarr

  Funny, Beauty, Girl

  Quoted in Richard Schickel, The Stars (1962)

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• I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!

  MaryJanice Davidson

  Sarcastic, Stupid, People

  MaryJanice Davidson (2010). “Undead and Unfinished: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.114, Penguin

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• There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.

  Henry Adams

  Sarcastic, Average, Stupidity

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• You really don’t want to take that tone with me. (Varyk) Well, I do have several others we can choose from. Contemptuous. Angry. Snide. Aggravated. How about I just settle on extreme sarcasm and we call it even? (Dev)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Want, Tone, Settling

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2009). “Bad Moon Rising: A Dark-Hunter Novel”, p.68, Macmillan

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• They didn’t have novels back then. (Tory) History says they didn’t have books, yet what’s this thing in my hand? It’s square, bound paper that’s been written on. Looks like a book to me. (Acheron) Thank you, Captain Sarcasm. How nice of you to join us again. (Tory)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Nice, Book, Squares

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2008). “Acheron: A Dark-Hunter Novel”, p.626, St. Martin's Press

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• Alright, you'll get your bonus, buy play nice with her. Keep your sarcasm to a minimum. (Kyrian) Yes, O Great Lord and Master. Be nice to woman, keep mouth shut. (Nick)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Nice, Play, Bonus

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• Don't you have class today? (Kyrian) Boy, I'm a backwoods Cajun, I ain't never got no class, cher. (Nick) (He cleared his throat and dropped the thick Cajun accent.) And no, today's registration. I've got to figure out what I'm taking next semester. (Nick) I have a few things I need you to do today. (Kyrian) And that is different from any other day how? (Nick) Sarcasm, thy name is Nick Gautier. (Kyrian)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Boys, Class, Names

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• That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.

  Christopher Moore

  Differences, Irony, Spontaneous

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Lamb: A Novel”, p.149, Hachette UK

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• Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.

  Christopher Moore

  Fall

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• And then what? Said, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Ms. Lane, I didn't mean to wrinkle your lovely blouse. May I press that for you?' Or perhaps you gouged it with one of your pretty pink nails?" I was really beginning to wonder what his hang-up with pink was, but I didn't resent the sarcasm in his voice.

  Karen Marie Moning

  Sorry, Mean, Wrinkles

  Karen Marie Moning (2006). “Darkfever: Fever Series”, p.76, Delacorte Press

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• You know, your sarcasm isn’t appreciated right now. I’ve been drugged, beaten, nearly raped, saved, drugged again, hijacked, and now threatened by you. Tell me, what else should I look forward to? Torture, or just a good maiming? (Kiara)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Looks, Appreciated, Should

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2009). “Born of Night”, Macmillan

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• Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?" "It sucked." "Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks. "It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word.

  Simone Elkeles

  Hey, Guardian, Professors

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• They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.

  Derek Landy

  Form, China, Mets

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• If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter." Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You hunt darkness?" "Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it." Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Mean, Cutting, Dark

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• You know, Gilan, sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit. It's not even wit at all." -Halt

  John Flanagan

  Form, Halt, Wit

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• About time," Christian said. "Lissa and Adrian get the market share on worrying about you, but they're not the only ones. And someone needs to put Adrian in his place, you know. I can't do it all the time." "Thanks. It kills me to say this, but I missed you too. No one's sarcasm compares to yours in Russia.

  Richelle Mead

  Christian, Russia, Worry

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