Humour Quotes - Page 15

• Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

  David Letterman

  Funny, War, Humorous

  "Only Joking: What's So Funny about Making People Laugh?". Book by Jimmy Carr and Lucy Greeves, 2006.

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• For the sadness in legitimate humour consists in the fact that honestly and without deceit it reflects in a purely human way upon what it is to be a child.

  Soren Kierkegaard

  Children, Sadness, Deceit

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• Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

  Sarah Silverman

  Skills, People, Black

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• If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it

  Bill Cosby

  Ifs

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• If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas

  John Cleese

  Ideas, Laughing, Acknowledge

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• When I am White, I win because I am White. When I am Black, I win because I am Bogolyubov.

  Efim Bogoljubov

  Winning, White, Black

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• The most powerful weapon in Chess is to have the next move

  David Bronstein

  Powerful, Moving, Next Move

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• My style is somewhere between that of Tal and Petrosian

  Samuel Reshevsky

  Style, Chess

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• Was ever woman in this humour wooed?
  Was ever woman in this humour won?

  William Shakespeare

  Love

  'Richard III' (1591) act 1, sc. 2, l. 229

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• If the juices of the body were more chymically examined, especially by a naturalist, that knows the ways of making fixed bodies volatile, and volatile fixed, and knows the power of the open air in promoting the former of those operations; it is not improbable, that both many things relating to the nature of the humours, and to the ways of sweetening, actuating, and otherwise altering them, may be detected, and the importance of such discoveries may be discerned.

  Robert Boyle

  Science, Air, Discovery

  Robert Boyle (1664). “Some Considerations Touching the Usefulnesse of Experimental Naturall Philosophy, ... by the Honorable Robert Boyle Esq; ...”, p.37

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• If you don't have humour, then you may as well nail the coffin lid down now.

  Roger Moore

  Nails, Coffins, May

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• The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

  Sid Caesar

  Witty, People, Shows

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• I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.

  Frank Skinner

  Funny Relationship, Wife, Share

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• I like a twisted sense of humour. On 'A History of Violence,' David Cronenberg and I would be doing the grimmest scenes and laugh a lot.

  Viggo Mortensen

  Laughing, Violence, Would Be

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• Contrary to my image, I do have a sense of humour.

  Andy Murray

  Contrary

  "Holding court: Andy Murray interview". "The Telegraph" Interview, www.telegraph.co.uk. June 5, 2008.

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• My father was a very funny man, and one of my strongest recollections is hearing him laugh. He didn't like people who had no sense of humour.

  Mike Myers

  Father, Men, People

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• If you find a saint who has no sense of humour, then he is not a saint at all. Impossible. His very seriousness says that he has not achieved. Once you have some inner experiences of your own you become very playful, you become very innocent, childlike.

  Rajneesh

  Saint, Impossible, Innocent

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• No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Answers, Way, Obligation

  "PJ O'Rourke - the rightwinger it's OK for lefties to like". Interview with Paul Harris, www.theguardian.com. October 29, 2010.

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• Thinking is one of the most important weapons in dealing with problems

  Nelson Mandela

  Thinking, Important, Weapons

  Nelson Mandela (2011). “Nelson Mandela By Himself: The Authorised Book of Quotations”, p.300, Pan Macmillan

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• One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Humor, One Day

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• We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

  Spike Milligan

  Plans, Miscellaneous, Havens

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• Through humour, we see in what seems rational, the irrational; in what seems important, the unimportant

  Charlie Chaplin

  Important, Irrational, Seems

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• I consider myself something of a raconteur. I have a rather audacious sense of humour.

  Sylvester Stallone

  Audacious

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• You cannot study Pleasure in the moment of the nuptial embrace, nor repentance while repenting, nor analyze the nature of humour while roaring with laughter.

  C. S. Lewis

  Laughter, Roaring, Study

  C. S. Lewis (2014). “God in the Dock”, p.57, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing

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• Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

  Rick Cook

  Winning, Technology, Race

  "The Wizardry Compiled". Book by Rick Cook, 1989.

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