Humour Quotes - Page 16

• That which has not a real excellency and value in it self, entertains no longer than the giddy Humour which recommended it to us holds.

  Mary Astell

  Real, Self, Giddy

  Mary Astell, Patricia Springborg (1996). “Astell: Political Writings”, p.42, Cambridge University Press

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• The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make weird funny comments. I can see in myself her self-deprecating, hippie humour. I can't take myself too seriously.

  Drew Barrymore

  Funny, Hippie, Self

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• If one would cancel all traffic rules and switch off all traffic lights, watching city traffic on TV would be also awfully interesting!

  Oleg Romanishin

  Light, Cities, Interesting

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• It will be cheering to know that many people are skillful chessplayers, though in many instances their brains, in a general way, compare unfavorably with the cognitive faculties of a rabbit.

  James Mortimer

  Cheer, People, Brain

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• Nowadays tournaments are for nurseries. Look at those kiddies.

  Miguel Najdorf

  Looks, Chess, Nursery

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• I played like a child!

  Magnus Carlsen

  Children, Chess

  "Magnificent Magnus, the world's youngest grandmaster". Interview with Hans Olav Lahlum, en.chessbase.com. April 20, 2004.

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• Excellent! I will still be in time for the ballet!

  Jose Raul Capablanca

  Ballet, Chess, Excellent

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• My opponent left a glass of whisky 'en prise' and I took it 'en passant'.

  Joseph Henry Blackburne

  Glasses, Opponents, Chess

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• A male scorpion is stabbed to death after mating. In chess, the powerful queen often does the same to the king without giving him the satisfaction of a lover.

  Gregor Piatigorsky

  Kings, Queens, Powerful

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• My opponent is Short and the match will be short.

  Garry Kasparov

  Opponents, Chess

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• I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they do.

  Jo Brand

  Thinking, Keys, Attributes

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• The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn't just common to me; it's anybody who's funny.

  Bill Bryson

  Real, Veins, Common

  "'You have only so many jokes'". Interview with Simon Hattenstone, www.theguardian.com. November 22, 2002.

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• Barcza is the most versatile player in the opening. He sometimes plays P-KKt3 on the first, sometimes on the second, sometimes on the third, and sometimes only on the fourth move.

  Harry Golombek

  Moving, Player, Chess

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• Some scientist needs to explain to spectators Einstein's relativity theory. Before his explanation, he says: 'I have to suffer a lot explaining something I don't understand myself.' This relates to my game: I didn't understand anything!

  Vassily Ivanchuk

  Games, Suffering, Needs

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• POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Country, Drinking, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2484, Delphi Classics

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• Sir, the slowness of genius is hard to bear, but the slowness of mediocrity is insufferable.

  Henry Thomas Buckle

  Genius, Mediocrity, Chess

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• Chess is a contributor to net human unhappiness, since the pleasure of victory is greatly exceeded by the pain of defeat.

  William Hartston

  Pain, Victory, Chess

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• My parents' divorce left me with a lot of sadness and pain and acting, and especially humour, was my way of dealing with all that.

  Jennifer Aniston

  Pain, Sadness, Divorce

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• Prudent people are very happy; 'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain, but I was born without it, and shall retain to my day of Death the Humour of saying what I think.

  Mary Wortley Montagu

  Thinking, People, Prudent

  Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1967). “1708-1720”

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• As Aboriginal people we have always retained our resilience, our humour and our cultural integrity - we will always retain our dreams and a vision for the future for our people.

  Ken Wyatt

  Dream, Integrity, Future

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• GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Machines, Reason

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.81, 谷月社

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• MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Clothes, Dinner

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

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• To run this business ... you need ... optimism, humanism, enthusiasm, intuition, curiosity, love, humour, magic and fun, and that secret ingredient-euph oria.

  Anita Roddick

  Running, Fun, Optimism

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• I think that London is very much like that. I find there's humour in the air and people are interesting. And I think that it's a place which is constantly surprising. The worst thing about it? I think it can be smug and aggressive.

  Colin Firth

  Thinking, Air, People

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• LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Faith, Science, Hands

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.124, 谷月社

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