Funny Marriage Quotes - Page 12

• Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

  Woody Allen

  Marriage, Two, Inertia

  9 Copy quote

• You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?

  Gracie Allen

  Wonder, Blushing, Brides

  14 Copy quote

• Well, you know, the definition of second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

  George Will

  Marriage, Funny Love, Definitions

  16 Copy quote

• Equal partnerships are not made in heaven-they are made on earth, one choice at a time, one conversation at a time, one threshold crossing at a time.

  Bruce C. Hafen

  Choices, Heaven, Earth

  8 Copy quote

• True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.

  James E. Faust

  Charity, Ought

  "Fathers, Mothers, Marriage". James E. Faust's First Presidency message, www.lds.org. August 2004.

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• If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams

  Jim Carrey

  Running, Together, Yards

  4 Copy quote

• Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

  Tim Allen

  Jobs, Children, Men

  57 Copy quote

• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

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• Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.

  Cass Daley

  Marriage, Wedding, Women

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• After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

  Hemant Joshi

  Marriage, Clever, Husband

  39 Copy quote

• It is now well known, however, that men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married.

  C. Northcote Parkinson

  Men, Married, Well Known

  Parkinson's Law ch. 10 (1957)

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• Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

  Kristen Schaal

  Mean, Married, I Can

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• Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it.

  Heather Locklear

  Lust, Jewelry, Married

  36 Copy quote