Crap Quotes - Page 16

• You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

  J. B. Smoove

  Motivation, Trying, Pants

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• I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub.

  Bonnie McFarlane

  Girl, Thinking, Guy

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• You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

  Bonnie McFarlane

  Successful, Needs, Looking Good

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• Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

  Louis C. K.

  Average, Stuff, Way

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• Very few American parents give a crap about how they raise their kids. They put minimal effort into it. Who told you it's a good idea to buy a developing mind a video game?

  Louis C. K.

  Kids, Games, Ideas

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• I think people who traditionally ate haggis wouldn't eat the good cuts, 'cause they'd sell the good cuts to make their money, so they get left with all the crap.

  Scott Hutchison

  Cutting, Thinking, People

  Source: pitchfork.com

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• Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.

  Louis C. K.

  Beautiful, Children, Kids

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• Women don't have dicks and they don't want dicks. That amateur psychology crap that women want penises. And they certainly don't want testicles. Because you know no women in her right mind is going to carry around a bag that she can't put stuff in.

  Bobby Slayton

  Psychology, Mind, Bags

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• There's so much content out there that you can't make crap and just hope it gets seen.

  Tommy Dewey

  Source: collider.com

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• Does anyone ever shudder with the crap that you pulled off and didn't die?

  Christopher Titus

  Doe, Dies

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we'd never live it down.

  Bill Burr

  Native American, Thinking, Done

  Source: brightestyoungthings.com

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• Bernie [Ecclestone] has not been shy to say one or two controversial things. The last person in the UK who described his product as being crap in public was one Gerald Ratner - and he was gone immediately. But not Bernie! What it tells you is that the demand for live sporting rights, the demand for global or regional events, is so powerful that you brush aside some things because there aren't so many of these events.

  Martin Sorrell

  Powerful, Rights, Two

  Source: www.formula1.com

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• The last person in the UK who described his product as being crap in public was one Gerald Ratner - and he was gone immediately.

  Martin Sorrell

  Gone, Lasts, Persons

  Source: www.formula1.com

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• Get through the moment. Avoid confrontation. Run away. That's pretty much how we get through our own lives, watching television. Smoking crap. Self-medicating. Redirecting our own attention. Jacking off. Denial.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Running, Self, Smoking

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• I've done more crap than I care to remember. I really have. 'Airwolf.' 'Murder, She Wrote.' 'Amazon Women on the Moon.' But you learn from all these bad shows. What you don't want to do and what you don't want to be involved with.

  Bryan Cranston

  Moon, Amazon, Done

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• You know, Nirvana used to start rehearsals with the three of us just jamming. For, like, a half an hour, just noise and freeform crap - and usually it was crap. But sometimes things would come from it, and some songs on Nevermind came from that, and 'Heart Shaped Box' and stuff on 'In Utero' just happened that way.

  Dave Grohl

  Song, Heart, Three

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• I can't read music and I'm crap at learning lyrics. Especially since the accident I have memory problems. I can't remember words, names, places.

  Marc Almond

  Memories, Names, Remember

  Source: thequietus.com

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• I'm more of a thriller-horror fan - things that could really happen. I don't like scary movies, the 'Saw' movies scare the crap out of me - I think I've seen two of them and I wanted to go crawl in a hole.

  Katee Sackhoff

  Thinking, Two, Scary

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• I think every Negro over fifty should get a medal for putting up with all that crap.

  Miles Davis

  Thinking, Fifty, Should

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• I do have one regret though. I wish Kathy Acker was still alive. I wish I could go swim with her again. My literary indebtedness to her is enormous. She's a more important mother to me than anyone can possibly imagine. In language I became a daughter worth a crap because of her. In language I redefined daughter, woman, I became a writer. Dora is an homage of sorts.

  Lidia Yuknavitch

  Daughter, Mother, Regret

  Source: therumpus.net

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• Which is mightily ironic since one of the most common criticisms of American women novelists (it's a load of crap but it gets bandied about a good bit) is that they don't write the "big" stories about "universal" or "worldly" concepts...Jesus. Um, when we do? We get told to get back in the kitchen and bedroom - go back to writing about love-y wife-y mother-y things.

  Lidia Yuknavitch

  Mother, Jesus, Writing

  Source: therumpus.net

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• We can't handle violence in women characters but we CAN handle what's done to women in our present tense every second of the day worldwide? Or next door? Or in political or medical discourse? Please. That idea just makes me want to crap on a table at a very fancy restaurant.

  Lidia Yuknavitch

  Character, Doors, Ideas

  Source: therumpus.net

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• I would love to see a fundamental re-thinking of whether we truly want to be the world's largest debtor nation, feeding an insatiable desire for mall-crawling with cheaply made crap from all over the world.

  Denis Hayes

  Thinking, Desire, Debtors

  "The Rumpus Interview with Earth Day organiser Denis Hayes". Interview with Melissa Price, therumpus.net. April 22, 2009.

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• I love doing readings. I could really give a crap about reviews. It's kind of about the readers.

  Jami Attenberg

  Reading, Giving, Kind

  Source: therumpus.net

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• Everyone was saying, "Oh, Chumbawamba, they're crap, can't get arrested." But we had absolute faith in what we were doing, so we put our heads down and made the best album we possibly could. Then we got a deal based on the final product.

  Alice Nutter

  Albums, Finals, Down And

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