Crap Quotes - Page 13

• A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.

  Scott Lynch

  Girl, Sunshine, Boys

  Scott Lynch (2015). “The Gentleman Bastard Series 3-Book Bundle: The Lies of Locke Lamora, Red Seas Under Red Skies, The Republic of Thieves”, p.1817, Del Rey

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• I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

  Laurie Notaro

  Dog, Nice, Men

  Laurie Notaro (2002). “The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life”, p.78, Villard

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• Many young web designers view their craft the way I used to view pop culture. It's cool or it's crap. They mistake Style for Design, when the two things are not the same at all. Design communicates on every level. It tells you where you are, cues you to what you can do, and facilitates the doing. Style is tautological; it communicates stylishness. In visual terms, style is an aspect of design; in commercial terms, style can communicate brand attributes.

  Jeffrey Zeldman

  Mistake, Views, Two

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• Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first

  S.A. Bodeen

  Hands, Wish, Firsts

  S. A. Bodeen (2008). “The Compound”, p.15, Feiwel & Friends

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• I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.

  Lewis Black

  Golf, Thinking, Play

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• The galleries are simply corporations in the art world - "Here's a million dollars for this latest piece of crap" - but I'm not about to go along with the gallery system.

  Betty Dodson

  Art, Dollars, Pieces

  "Betty Dodson's Feminist Sex Wars". Interview with Melissa Gira Grant, www.truth-out.org. December 16, 2013.

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• I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.

  Lewis Black

  Home, Thinking, Light

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• I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.

  Jo Brand

  Healthy, Flags, Obesity

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• I try to be nice, I try to respect other people, but over the years I've learned that all this stuff we do is a bunch of crap. That doesn't mean it doesn't have its place. We are living in a material world, so why not live with something beautiful?

  Tom Ford

  Beautiful, Nice, Mean

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• If you just sit there, and you're a writer, you're bound to write crap. A lot of American writing is crap. And a lot of American writers are professionals.

  Jamaica Kincaid

  Writing, Ifs, Bounds

  "Jamaica Kincaid: Does Truth Have a Tone?". Interview with Lauren K. Alleyne, www.guernicamag.com. June 17, 2013.

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• I can always write. Sometimes, to be sure, what I write is crap, but it's words on the page and therefore it is something to work with.

  Geraldine Brooks

  Writing, Pages, Sometimes

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• The early Triassic was a period when the planet was recovering from the worst mass extinction it had ever known - that was the end Permian extinction, where climate change caused in part by mega-volcanic eruptions wiped out ninety-five percent of life on Earth. It took about ten or twenty million years for the planet's ecosystems to stabilize. During that time you saw a lot of weird, out-of-balance ecosystems where, for example, crocodile-like predators ripped the crap out of each other along the coasts.

  Annalee Newitz

  Mass Extinction, Years, Ecosystems

  Source: therumpus.net

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• Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of the world, and other mornings I feel like crap.

  Victoria Chang

  Morning, World, Sometimes

  Source: therumpus.net

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• The modern media environment is so overrun with bullshit and static and people trying to sell you stupid crap. It makes you want to bite yourself.

  Brad Listi

  Stupid, Media, People

  Source: therumpus.net

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• Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she's saying. Come on, she's a woman. But still, it's very cute.

  Zach Braff

  Cute, Iraq, Giving

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• First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.

  Zach Braff

  Sex, College, Men

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• I have a deep-seated distrust and even contempt for people who are driven by ambition to conquer the world … those who cannot control themselves and produce vast amounts of crap that no one cares about. I find it unattractive. I like the Zen artists: they’d do some work, and then they’d stop for a while.

  Saul Leiter

  Ambition, Artist, Conquer The World

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• What is a turducken? An exclusive culinary creation available by special order from some little Cajun town down south. Entirely deboned, a turducken consists of a turkey, stuffed with duck, stuffed with a chicken, like an edible Russian nesting doll. Some were stuffed with alligator, crap, shrimp; my favorite was the traditional cornbread variety.

  S.A. Bodeen

  Order, Turkeys, Ducks

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• Love does not exist, it's like religion, the state wants you to believe in that kind of crap so they can control you, and f**k your head up.

  Irvine Welsh

  Believe, Doe, Want

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• If I looked at some of these pieces as if this project was not spoken-word but just short anthology, I probably would have fussed with some of the sentences, you know? Syllabication and prosody and such crap. Because the printed word is etched in stone. But for reading purposes I accepted this book of texts in the manner in which I wrote them, no need to fuss. Most of the shorter stuff was written as poetry. Meaning lots of white space on the page.

  Richard Meltzer

  Book, Reading, White

  Source: therumpus.net

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• Even as I'm shoveling up my hooter, I realize the sad truth. Coke bores me, It bores us all. We're jaded cunts, in a scene we hate, a city we hate, pretending that we're at the center of the universe, trashing ourselves with crap drugs to stave off the feeling that real life is happening somewhere else, aware that all we're doing is feeding that paranoia and disenchantment, yet somehow we're too apathetic to stop. Cause, sadly, there's nothing else of interest to stop for.

  Irvine Welsh

  Hate, Real, Somewhere Else

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• You can hear a real shift. You listen to the late 80s recordings, you'll hear us engaging with the audience, dealing with the issues surrounding punk shows at the time. Back then, people thought you had to be a skinhead and beat the crap out of everybody when you went to a punk show. Come the early 90s, when you had this so-called grunge stuff and when videos became so dominant, you had this totally huge shift in the culture of shows.

  Ian MacKaye

  Real, People, Culture

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• Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, 'Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you.

  Louise Rennison

  Baby, Jesus, Sorry

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• I'd have to say that "Mr. Crowley" in my most memorable solo... I had spent hours trying to figure out a solo for the song ... Ozzy came in and said "it's crap - everything you're playing is crap" .. he told me to get in there and just play how I felt. He made me really nervous, so I just played anything. When I came back to listen to it, he said it was great.

  Randy Rhoads

  Music, Song, Memorable

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• The argument [behind climate change] is absolute crap. However, the politics of this are tough for us. Eighty per cent of people believe climate change is a real and present danger.

  Tony Abbott

  Real, Believe, People

  "Town of Beaufort changed Tony Abbott's view on climate change" by Stuart Rintoul, www.theaustralian.com.au. December 12, 2009.

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