Ass Quotes - Page 29

• God can use the jawbone of an ass!

  Winkie Pratney

  Use

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• Whether it’s food or women, the ones on front street are supermodels. Big hair, big tits, big trouble, but the one you come home to is probably something like cavatelli and red sauce. She’s not screaming for attention because she knows she’s good enough even if your dumb ass hasn’t figured it out yet.

  Eddie Huang

  Home, Hair, Dumb

  "Tiger Moms and Fly Girls: How Do Women Fare on ‘Fresh Off the Boat’?" by Sara Stewart, www.indiewire.com. February 5, 2015.

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• I'd like to say I'm ready to kick ass and show the guys how it's done. But I'm not here to prove anything about being a woman. I'm here to drive a race car and try to win a race.

  Lyn St. James

  Winning, Race, Car

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• If someone says there's a portal to hell under some rocks, you bet your ass I'm going to move them.

  Ryan Buell

  Moving, Rocks, Portal

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• Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions of light-years- a group of aliens so intelligent, so insouciant, so utterly above it all, they feel no need whatsoever to equip their spacecraft with windows so that they can gaze out on all that celestial beauty-but then immediately upon landing, their first impulse is to get in some hick's ass with a flashlight.

  Dennis Miller

  Intelligent, Men, Thinking

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• I've wanted to feel pleasure to the point of insanity. They call it getting high, because it's wanting to know that higher level, that godlike level. You want to touch the heavens, you want to feel glory and euphoria, but the trick is it takes work. You can't buy it, you can't get it on a street corner, you can't steal it or inject it or shove it up your ass, you have to earn it.

  Anthony Kiedis

  Insanity, Heaven, Getting High

  66 Copy quote

• You cannot achieve success without the risk of failure. And I learned a long time ago, you cannot achieve success, if you fear failure. If you're not afraid to fail, man, you have a chance to succeed. But you're never gonna get there unless you risk it, all the way. I'll risk failure. Sometimes, half the fun is failing. Learning from your mistakes, waking up the next morning, and saying 'Okay. Watch out. Here I come again. A little bit smarter, licking my wounds, and really not looking forward to getting my ass kicked the way I just did yesterday.' So now, I'm just a little more dangerous.

  Paul Heyman

  Morning, Fun, Mistake

  "The Rise & Fall of ECW". Documentary, Sport, www.imdb.com. 2004.

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• Art arises from loss. I wish this weren't the case. I wish that every time I met a new woman and she rocked my world, I was inspired to write my ass off. But that is not what happens. What happens is we lie around in bed eating chocolate and screwing. Art is what happens when things don't work out, when you're licking your wounds. Art is, to a larger extent than people would like to think, a productive licking of the wounds.

  Steve Almond

  Art, Lying, Writing

  Steve Almond (2004). “Candyfreak: A Journey Through the Chocolate Underbelly of America”, p.38, Algonquin Books

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• There is no logical reason to believe in God. There are emotional reasons, certainly, but I cannot have faith that nothing is something simply because it would be reassuring. I can no more believe in God than I can believe an invisible monkey lives in my ass; however, I would believe in both if they could be scientifically proven.

  Andrew Davidson

  Believe, Emotional, Would Be

  Andrew Davidson (2008). “The Gargoyle”, p.344, Canongate Books

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• If you’re afraid to defend your convictions because you might get your ass kicked for it, you’re not really fit to advocate for them.

  James Carlos Blake

  Might, Fit, Conviction

  "The GQ&A: James Carlos Blake". Interview with Stayton Bonner, www.gq.com. February 13, 2012.

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• If a woman has a good ass the rest of her wil be nicely configured too, except for maybe the face. The face is always on its own.

  James Carlos Blake

  Faces, Ifs

  James Carlos Blake (2013). “The Rules of Wolfe”, p.90, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Now let's move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn't slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he's got any self-respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen - the queen of the home she makes for their children.

  S.M. Stirling

  Mother, Hurt, Queens

  "Dies the Fire".

  46 Copy quote

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• The next time somebody announces that he plans to get Medieval on your ass, tell him you're going to get Renaissance on his gonads.

  James K. Morrow

  Renaissance, Next, Medieval

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• I'm sorry, but anyone who thinks the use of an angelic (or seemingly angelic character), whose likes have been written about for, oh, about 4,000 years, is ripping off Star Trek, has his head so thoroughly up his ass as to have blipped into an entirely new intestinally-based reality and desperately needs to get a wider frame of reference.

  J. Michael Straczynski

  Stars, Sorry, Character

  "Re: B5 rips off Trek Again! (T". Google Groups, rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5, groups.google.com. November 10, 1995.

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• I'm going to sprout wings out of my ass one day and fly around the world.

  Mike Shinoda

  Wings, One Day, World

  41 Copy quote

• One thing I have always been is too short. It's adorable when you're in junior high. After that, it's a pain in the ass for the rest of your life.

  Elizabeth Berg

  Pain, Adorable, Juniors

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• I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

  Zach Braff

  Dream, Morning, Hey

  4 Copy quote

• I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?

  Zach Braff

  Men, Want, Can Do

  4 Copy quote

• That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.

  Zach Braff

  Song, Cyclones, Annoying

  7 Copy quote

• And I'm a pair of pants with a hole scorched through the ass?

  Spider Robinson

  Pants, Pairs, Holes

  Spider Robinson (1996). “Deathkiller”, Baen Books

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• You can stay and die or you can walk your ugly ass back through that gate. It's your call, pal.

  Dante Alighieri

  Pals, Ugly, Walks

  21 Copy quote

• Damn flowers. Nice kids, the ones who skated out and gave us them. But the flowers, the stem fell off. I stepped right on it and was on my ass in a flash. Must have looked good, huh? A hundred million guys watching all around the world, brass bands playing, the Russian cats in the stands, and here I am dumped on the ice. So I waved to the folks back home inthe Soo, a wave from the dummy with egg on his face.

  Phil Esposito

  Nice, Flower, Home

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• You will have a growing knack for gravitating toward wilder, wetter, more interesting problems. More and more, you will be drawn to the kind of gain that doesn't requite pain. You'll be so alive and awake that you'll cheerfully push yourself out of your comfort zone in the direction of your personal frontier well before you're forced to do so by divine kicks in the ass.

  Rob Brezsny

  Pain, Blessing, Interesting

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• Marijuana is rejected all over the world. Damned. In England heroin is alright for out-patents, but marijuana? They'll put your ass in jail. I wonder why that is? The only reason could be: To Serve the Devil - Pleasure! Pleasure, which is a dirty word in Christian culture.

  Lenny Bruce

  Christian, Dirty, Marijuana

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• Damn it, there are so many idiots whose asses I have to kick! I'll have to start carrying a list just to keep track of 'em all!

  Hiromu Arakawa

  Track, Ems, Lists

  "Fullmetal Alchemist". Anime by Hiromu Arakawa, 2001 - 2010.

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