Tom Lehrer Quotes

Quotes about:

• I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

  Tom Lehrer

  Funny, Communication, Humor

  35 Copy quote

• Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

  Tom Lehrer

  Life, Music, Play

  91 Copy quote

• Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

  Tom Lehrer

  Political, Henry Kissinger, Satire

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  26 Copy quote

• I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

  Tom Lehrer

  Funny, Cute Love, Sarcastic

  64 Copy quote

• Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

  Tom Lehrer

  Prophet, Worst

  "The Music Show" with Andrew Ford, www.abc.net.au. July 8, 2006.

  22 Copy quote

• Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.

  Tom Lehrer

  Humorous, Profound, Preparation

  21 Copy quote

• If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.

  Tom Lehrer

  Song, Hearing, Nasty

  21 Copy quote

• I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

  Tom Lehrer

  Maturity, Trying, Bypass

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  21 Copy quote

• "Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.

  Tom Lehrer

  Positive Thinking, Life Is Like, Trying

  "Introduction to 'We Will All Go Together When We Go'". CD Audio "An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer", March 20-21, 1959.

  22 Copy quote

• It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

  Tom Lehrer

  Years, Two, Age

  That Was the Year That Was (record album) (1965)

  25 Copy quote

• Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

  Tom Lehrer

  Song, Science, Who Cares

  "Song: 'Wernher von Braun'". 1965.

  63 Copy quote

• Plagiarize!
  Plagiarize,
  Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
  Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
  So don't shade your eyes,
  But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize...
  Only be sure always to call it please "research".

  Tom Lehrer

  Eye, Men, Research

  "Song: 'Lobachevsky'". 1953.

  14 Copy quote

• As for language, almost everything goes now. That is not to say that verbal taboos have disappeared, but merely that they have shifted somewhat. In my youth, for example, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl'.

  Tom Lehrer

  Girl, Example, Youth

  11 Copy quote

• On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

  Tom Lehrer

  Income, Three, Blind

  27 Copy quote

• Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.

  Tom Lehrer

  Funny, Media, Television

  "Rhino Records" Online Chat, June 17, 1997.

  21 Copy quote

• Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

  Tom Lehrer

  Rainy Day, Weather, Looks

  36 Copy quote

• When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

  Tom Lehrer

  Song: Smut, Album: That Was the Year That Was

  9 Copy quote

• Irreverence is easy - whats hard is wit.

  Tom Lehrer

  Irreverence, Easy, Wit

  "Rhino Records" Online Chat, June 17, 1997.

  18 Copy quote

• And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.

  Tom Lehrer

  Expression, Jail, Censorship

  "The Music Show" with Andrew Ford, www.abc.net.au. July 8, 2006.

  7 Copy quote

• I find enough mystery in mathematics to satisfy my spiritual needs. I think, for example, that pi is mysterious enough (don't get me started!) without having to worry about God. Or if pi isn't enough, how about fractals? or quantum mechanics?

  Tom Lehrer

  Spiritual, Thinking, Worry

  Celebathiests.com Interview, June 1996.

  7 Copy quote

• You cant be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

  Tom Lehrer

  Offensive, Satirical, Cant

  "Tom Lehrer" by Stephen Thompson, www.avclub.com. May 24, 2000.

  6 Copy quote

• Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

  Tom Lehrer

  Funny, Cute, Sarcastic

  Song: Be Prepared

  20 Copy quote

• I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them.

  Tom Lehrer

  Want, Puppeteer

  "Stop clapping, this is serious". Sydney Morning Herald interview, www.smh.com.au. March 1, 2003.

  18 Copy quote

• One of the problems I see with these comics on television, particularly cable television, is, since you can say anything in terms of sex and scatological references and so on, therefore, you should do it. So they all limit themselves to these subjects and this vocabulary. My objection is that it is a lack of articulateness. Irreverence is easy, but what is hard is wit. Wit is what these comedians lack.

  Tom Lehrer

  Sex, Vocabulary, Comedian

  Sydney Morning Herald interview, www.smh.com.au. March 1, 2003.

  19 Copy quote

• The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.

  Tom Lehrer

  People, Reason, Written

  Song: Clementine, Album: More of Tom Lehrer

  11 Copy quote

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