Mark Russell Quotes

• The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

  Mark Russell

  Inspirational, Hilarious, Funny Life

  "Frequent Flyer Humor and One-Upmanship". Book by George W. Stewart, Dog Ear Publishing, p. 12, 2011.

  103 Copy quote

• You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!

  Mark Russell

  Brain, Republican, Democrat

  15 Copy quote

• The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it.

  Mark Russell

  Stripes, Racing, Way

  16 Copy quote

• Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.

  Mark Russell

  Heart, People, Break

  8 Copy quote

• A Consultant is a guy who knows 125 different ways to make love, but who doesn't know any women.

  Mark Russell

  Guy, Making Love, Different

  9 Copy quote

• People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television.

  Mark Russell

  People, Television, Faces

  11 Copy quote

• The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

  Mark Russell

  Political, Politics, Healthcare

  6 Copy quote

• I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

  Mark Russell

  Sports, Sarcastic, Athlete

  9 Copy quote

• The sacred exists only at the expense of the truth.

  Mark Russell

  Sacred, Expenses

  Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler “God Is Disappointed In You”, Top Shelf Productions

  7 Copy quote

• I think you can't write with anger. I think it always has to be with a wink. There always has to be an element of hope in what you write. Otherwise you're just getting mad and it's not going to be fun for anybody.

  Mark Russell

  Fun, Writing, Thinking

  Source: www.avclub.com

  11 Copy quote

• If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.

  Mark Russell

  Opponents, Politician, Libel

  8 Copy quote

• If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once.

  Mark Russell

  Quiet, Silent, Audience

  8 Copy quote

• Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it.

  Mark Russell

  Running, Long, People

  4 Copy quote

• I'm not trying to write a bleak and blistering screed against American civilization. I'm writing something that I hope is fun and satirical and full of possibility.

  Mark Russell

  Fun, Writing, Civilization

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

  Mark Russell

  Two Sides, Sides, Jokes

  4 Copy quote

• You have the establishment and then you have the hippies revolting against the establishment, and what you end up getting are like accountants with long hair. And that's kind of what happened with the youth movement in the '70s.

  Mark Russell

  Hippie, Hair, Long

  Source: www.avclub.com

  6 Copy quote

• You have to imbue the characters with their own sort of feeling of justification and morality. Everyone has that, whether we see them as evil or not. So I try to bring the characters to life by making them likable or lovable, in the sense that they can be, at least to themselves.

  Mark Russell

  Character, Evil, Feelings

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game.

  Mark Russell

  Baseball, Football, Games

  8 Copy quote

• You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

  Mark Russell

  Trouble, Jerry, Jokes

  4 Copy quote

• I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person.

  Mark Russell

  Thinking, Television, Performers

  4 Copy quote

• Being an Olympian is the ultimate test of one's sporting ability.

  Mark Russell

  Tests, Ability, Ultimate

  7 Copy quote

• Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business.

  Mark Russell

  Business, Believe, Bills

  16 Copy quote

• I think even the characters that are fundamentally evil and wrong, I want people to really love them. I think that's important to writing believable characters. They don't have to be likable but they have to be loved, at least by the author.

  Mark Russell

  Writing, Character, Thinking

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is.

  Mark Russell

  People, Meat, Want

  5 Copy quote

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