Allan Sherman Quotes

• You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

  Allan Sherman

  Falling In Love, Hurt, Nice

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  50 Copy quote

• Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

  Allan Sherman

  Winning, Crash, Automobile

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  17 Copy quote

• A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.

  Allan Sherman

  Perfectly Good, Government, Color

  8 Copy quote

• The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

  Allan Sherman

  Reality, Differences, Littles

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  9 Copy quote

• Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

  Allan Sherman

  Cutting, Sandwiches, Cold

  15 Copy quote

• The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

  Allan Sherman

  Want, Ulysses, Sissy

  9 Copy quote

• A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

  Allan Sherman

  Color, Being Different, Might

  7 Copy quote

• I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

  Allan Sherman

  Pay, Bills, Hospitality

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  8 Copy quote

• In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.

  Allan Sherman

  Funny, California, Hollywood

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  7 Copy quote

• Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

  Allan Sherman

  Funny, New York, Divorce

  18 Copy quote

• Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

  Allan Sherman

  Cheating, Grandma, Winning

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  9 Copy quote

• Love is lovelier the 7th time around.

  Allan Sherman

  Love, Love Is

  7 Copy quote

• There's Beatles books and T-shirts and rings, and one thing and another. To buy my daughter all these things, I had to sell her brother.

  Allan Sherman

  Daughter, Brother, Book

  Song: Pop Hates The Beatles

  4 Copy quote

• Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting."

  Allan Sherman

  Sex, Lunch, Enzymes

  Allan Sherman (1973). “The Rape of the APE (American Puritan Ethic): The Official History of the Sex Revolution, 1945-1973: the Obscening of America, an RSVP (redeeming Social Value Pornography) Document”

  4 Copy quote

• In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed.

  Allan Sherman

  Funny, Golf, Law

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  18 Copy quote

• You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.

  Allan Sherman

  May, Wonder, Wells

  Allan Sherman (1965). “A gift of laughter: the autobiography of Allan Sherman”

  4 Copy quote

• Teacher, teacher, I declare, I see your purple underwear.

  Allan Sherman

  Education, Teacher, Purple

  Song: Turn Back the Clock

  4 Copy quote

• The whole city gives you the impression of impermanence. You have the feeling that one day someone is going to yell, "Cut! Strike it!" and then the stagehands will scurry out and remove the mountains, the movie-star homes, the Hollywood Bowl--everything.

  Allan Sherman

  Funny, Stars, Home

  7 Copy quote

• Temples also take into consideration an ability to pay and, in a general sense, do not turn people away if there's a need,.

  Allan Sherman

  People, Needs, Pay

  4 Copy quote

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