Craig Ferguson Quotes About House

Quotes about: House

• When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. 'You don't pay me back I break both yer legs.' Is that all? You won't take my house or wreck my credit rating? Fine where do I sign. Legs? Fine. You don't even have to sign anything.

  Craig Ferguson

  Thinking, House, Needs

• The Universe is very, very big. It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules. Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever. Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies. Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.

  Craig Ferguson

  Real, Mean, Love Is

  Craig Ferguson (2010). “Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel”, p.108, Chronicle Books

• At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

  Craig Ferguson

  Home, House, Want

• Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden.

  Craig Ferguson

  Animal, White, House

• North Korea announced that they have nuclear weapons and they have no plans to give them up. The White House, acting quickly, announced their plan to invade Iran.

  Craig Ferguson

  Iran, Korea, White

• The White House announced plans to begin normalizing relations with Cuba - this as we're awkwardizing relations with Russia.

  Craig Ferguson

  Russia, White, House

• Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'

  Craig Ferguson

  White, House, President

• The meeting with Prince William took place at the White House because Prince William wanted to see where the president spent his days, but the golf course was covered in snow.

  Craig Ferguson

  Golf, White, Snow

• In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.

  Craig Ferguson

  Party, House, Benefits

• Don't protest outside of a rich man's house in the daytime, you'll just scare the maid, and that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's job.

  Craig Ferguson

  Jobs, Men, House

• Now, I know Obama was trying to take the long view, but talking about solar energy in the middle of the oil spill is like watching your house engulfed in flames and saying, 'We really should change the curtains.'

  Craig Ferguson

  Views, Flames, Talking

• The sexy magazine in Britain in that time was called Club International. Club International: It was about as international as the International House of Pancakes. It should have been called Naked Cockney Girls with Scurvy.

  Craig Ferguson

  Girl, Sexy, Should Have

  "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson". www.imdb.com. 2005-2015.

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