Sloane Crosley Quotes - Page 2

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• My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because let's do that. I don't mean to complicate things. It's just - why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because there's no dill in the house?

  Sloane Crosley

  Morning, Mean, Creating

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• I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds.

  Sloane Crosley

  Waiting, Sound, Happens

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.65, Portobello Books

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• You just don't notice the time of your own metamorphosis. Until you do. Every once in a while time dissolves and you remember what you liked as a kid. You jump on your hotel bed, order dessert first, decide to put every piece of jewelry you own on your body and leave the house. Why? Because you can. Because you're the boss. Because... Ooooh. Shiny.

  Sloane Crosley

  Growing Up, Kids, Dessert First

  FaceBook post by Sloane Crosley from Nov 15, 2014

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• There is one thing you know for sure, one fact that never fails to comfort you: the worst day of your life wasn't in there, in that mess. And it will do you good to remember the best day of your life wasn't in there, either. But another person brought you closer to those borders than you had been, and maybe that's not such a bad thing.

  Sloane Crosley

  Comfort, Borders, Facts

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.141, Penguin

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• You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself.

  Sloane Crosley

  Break Up, Thinking, Way

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• In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker's party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image.

  Sloane Crosley

  New York, Party, Your Side

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• Most people don't get lucky. They get human. They get crushes. This means you irrationally mortgage what little logic you own to pay for this one thing. This relationship is an impulse buy, and you'll figure out if it's worth it later.

  Sloane Crosley

  Break Up, Crush, Mean

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.120, Penguin

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• When it seems impossible that a deep connection with another person could just go away instead of changing form. It seems impossible that you will one day look up and say the words "I used to date someone who lived in that building," referring to a three-year relationship. As simple as if it was a pizza place that is now a dry cleaner's. It happens. Keep walking.

  Sloane Crosley

  Simple, Years, Going Away

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.132, Penguin

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• A human being can spend only so much time outside her comfort zone before she realizes she is still tethered to it.

  Sloane Crosley

  Comfort, Realizing, Humans

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.8, Penguin

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• For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.

  Sloane Crosley

  Taken, Yesterday, Quality

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• I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us.

  Sloane Crosley

  Nice, Kids, Reality

  "Sloane Crosley Adjusts to the Writerly Life". Interview with Shane Ferro, www.interviewmagazine.com. April 22, 2011.

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• A pet store is a celebration of dogs' existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, 'Here, we couldn't think of anything else.' Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there's only so much hoopla applicable to them.

  Sloane Crosley

  Dog, Cat, Animal

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• and there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer.

  Sloane Crosley

  Names, Different, Would Be

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.68, Portobello Books

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• Being a writer is an endless study in human transition and lessons learned or forgotten or misapplied.

  Sloane Crosley

  Lesson Learned, Transition, Lessons

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• He also tried to block the doorway when she left him. My mother ducked under his arm, ran to her car, and drove away. I remember thinking that this was somehow romantic, as it pinpointed the actual memory of my mother's departure, something you don't see a lot of in television. Real people don't slam doors without opening them five minutes later because it's raining and they forgot their umbrella. They don't stop dead in their tracks because they realize they're in love with their best friend.They don't say, "I'm leaving you, Jack," and fade to a paper towel commercial.

  Sloane Crosley

  Mother, Memories, Block

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• I think humor is the social use. You can put anything in it. I think - yes, I speak heavily in analogies - it is like putting the medicine in apple sauce or a block of cheese for a dog. Not that anyone in this room is a dog in this scenario.

  Sloane Crosley

  Dog, Block, Thinking

  "Sloane Crosley Talks About Writing Her First Novel, The Clasp". Interview with A.M. Homes, www.vulture.com. May 31, 2015.

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• I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.

  Sloane Crosley

  Creative, Portland, Scene

  "Sloane Crosley Adjusts To The Writerly Life". Interview with Shane Ferro, www.interviewmagazine.com. April 22, 2011.

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• Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.

  Sloane Crosley

  Sweet, Alaska, Together

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.65, Penguin

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• If I go into a sandwich shop or anywhere that features 'Today's specials' on a chalkboard more than 10 feet away, I have to ask for a printed menu. I smile at people I don't know on the street and ignore those I do. When at home, I often find myself grabbing my 'back-up' glasses to search for the better-loved pair I have left on top of my dresser.

  Sloane Crosley

  Home, Glasses, Feet

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• I was the youngest of my entire family so you are tap-dancing to try to get the attention of your older cousins. I really hit my social stride in 6th grade, but before that I was a pretty big dork. You learn how to be amusing and how to work for it.

  Sloane Crosley

  Cousin, Dancing, Trying

  "Book Talk: Sloane Crosley hits brothels, clowns in new essays". Interview with Belinda Goldsmith, uk.reuters.com. June 23, 2010.

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• I don't do emoticons unless I'm making a big deal out of them. I'll type out, 'This is so amusing it makes me want to grin in pixels.' And then do it.

  Sloane Crosley

  Want, Pixels, Amusing

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• They say it's not the snoring itself but those anxiety-packed moments in between snorts. It's the waiting for the nasal passages of the person lying beside you to strike again. And strike it always does. In the dark, almost against your will, you produce that special glare reserved for people who cannot control their own behaviour.

  Sloane Crosley

  Lying, Dark, People

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• As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.

  Sloane Crosley

  Done, Serious, States

  Sloane Crosley (2012). “I Was Told There'd Be Cake”, p.6, Portobello Books

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• It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep.

  Sloane Crosley

  Girl, Fun, Creative

  Sloane Crosley (2010). “How Did You Get This Number”, p.135, Penguin

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• I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

  Sloane Crosley

  Birthday, Summer, Baby

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