To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.
Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.
Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.
Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also.
My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.
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