Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.
If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.
With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
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