Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you.
Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any put-downs, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.
Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.
When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.
Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.
I'm going to show you a technology today which takes insults and criticisms out of the airwaves. (Marshall puts on giraffe ears) With this technology, it will be impossible for you to hear criticisms, harsh remarks, or insults. All you can hear is what all people are ever saying, "please" and "thank you". What used to sound like criticism, judgment, or blame, you will see, are really tragic, suicidal expressions of "please".
Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values
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