Swear Quotes - Page 23

• You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.

  Peter Kay

  Tea, Biscuits, Dip

  "Mum Wants A Bungalow". Stand-up comedy tour by Peter Kay, 2003.

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• Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes.

  Marilyn Sokol

  Funny, Sex, Humor

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• Who can fail to mist at Fergie's anthem, 'My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.' Hmmm. 'My lunch, my lunch, I swear it's coming up.

  Celia Rivenbark

  Lovely Lady, Lunch, Anthem

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• Most of us have participated in the trust exercise in which one person falls back and is caught by a peer. Even if the catch is made a hundred times in a row, the trust is broken forever if the friend lets you fall the next time as a joke. Even if he swears he is sorry and will never let you fall again, you can never fall back without a seed of doubt.

  Rafe Esquith

  Sorry, Fall, Exercise

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• The more I swear I'm happy the more I'm feeling alone

  Rihanna

  Feeling Alone, Feelings

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• There is a verse [in the Koran] that says God swears by time. Anything you gain in life, you pay for with your time. Time is the most important thing that has been given to man.

  Shirin Ebadi

  Men, Design, Important

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• In my opinion, if most urban meat-eaters were to visit an industrial broiler house, to se how the birds are raised, and could see the birds being "harvested" and then being "processed" in a poultry processing plant, they would not be impressed and some, perhaps many of them would swear off eating chicken and perhaps all meat.

  Peter Cheeke

  House, Bird, Environmental

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• In each person I catch the fleeting suggestion of something beautiful and swear eternal friendship with that.

  George Santayana

  Beauty, Beautiful, Suggestions

  George Santayana (1986). “The Works of George Santayana”

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• What is it with girls?” Elliot said, splitting a smile between us. “I swear, I’ve never known a girl who could go to the bathroom alone.” He leaned forward and grinned conspiratorially. “Let me in on the secret. Seriously. I’ll pay you five bucks each.” He reached for his back pocket. “Ten, if I can come along and see what the big deal is.

  Becca Fitzpatrick

  Girl, Secret, Pockets

  Becca Fitzpatrick (2012). “Hush, Hush”, p.174, Simon and Schuster

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• I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.

  Darynda Jones

  Liars, Dentist, Excellent

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.21, Macmillan

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• I swear, sometimes it feels like there's this monkey in my head who runs around turning the dials and changing channels on me. One minute I'm sitting around eating chocolate chip cookies and then all of a sudden I'm thinking about bears.

  Michael Thomas Ford

  Running, Thinking, Chocolate

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• So we both strip off our boots and socks and, while there’s some improvement, I could swear he’s making an effort to snap every branch we encounter

  Suzanne Collins

  Effort, Encounters, Boots

  Suzanne Collins (2008). “The Hunger Games”, p.315, Scholastic Inc.

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• I swear to you, there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell

  Walt Whitman

  Beautiful, Spiritual, Leaves Of Grass

  Walt Whitman, Sculley Bradley, Harold W. Blodgett (2008). “Leaves of Grass: A Textual Variorum of the Printed Poems, 1855-1856”, p.232, NYU Press

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• The dead do walk and haunt and crawl into your bed at night. Ghosts sneak into your head when you're not looking. Stars line up and volcanoes birth out bits of glass that foretell the future. Poison berries make girls stronger, but sometimes kill them. If you howl at the moon and swear on your blood, anything you desire will be yours. Be careful what you wish for. There's always a catch.

  Laurie Halse Anderson

  Girl, Stars, Moon

  Laurie Halse Anderson (2014). “Wintergirls”, p.210, Scholastic UK

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• It is the Jew who lies when he swears allegiance to another faith; who becomes a danger to the world.

  Stephen Samuel Wise

  Lying, World, Danger

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• I will come back to you, I swear I will; And you will know me still. I shall be only a little taller Than when I went.

  Edna St. Vincent Millay

  Littles, Know Me, Stills

  Edna St. Vincent Millay (1991). “Edna St. Vincent Millay: selected poems : the centenary edition”, Harpercollins

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• I've never been this wet in my life, " said Kira. "Even immersed in a bathtub I swear I was dryer than I am now. " "Look on the bright side, " said Marcus. Kira waited. "This is the point at which you would traditionally suggest a bright side. " "I've never been a real traditional guy," said Marcus. "Besides, I'm not saying I know a bright side, I just think this would be a great time to look at one.

  Dan Wells

  Real, Thinking, Guy

  Dan Wells (2014). “Partials series 1-3 (Partials; Fragments; Ruins) (Partials)”, p.38, HarperCollins UK

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• sasha growled low in his throat. "Send the wolf to watch them," he mocked in falsetto. His nostrils flared. "I swear Z, if I live, I'm going to rip that damned goatee off your face and stick your shaving cream in the fridge.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Rip, Shaving Cream, Watches

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2011). “Retribution”, p.311, Macmillan

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• I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things." "Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her tray. "And jumping off rooftops." "And lighting their farts on fire," she says.

  Jay Asher

  War, Fire, Jumping

  Jay Asher, Carolyn Mackler (2012). “The Future of Us”, p.55, Simon and Schuster

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• Also not the kind of place to hide a server." "Is that another pun?" She asked. "No! I swear! I didn't mean that one." ~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5

  Ridley Pearson

  Mean, Games, Kingdoms

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• I swear to you on any kind of sacred whateverthefuck you favor: if I live through this I will absolutely start taking your advice." "That'll look nice on your headstone.

  Matthew Woodring Stover

  Nice, Advice, Looks

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• I'd swear to God, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I'd hate it. I wouldn't even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things. If I were a piano player, I'd play it in the goddam closet.

  J. D. Salinger

  Hate, Player, Dope

  J. D. SALINGER (1951). “THE CATCHER IN THE RYE”

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• Let go of me or slow down," she demanded as she tried to keep pace with him. He slowed down. "I swear to God, you try the patience of a saint." "You aren't a saint, Brodick, no matter what your mother might have told you.

  Julie Garwood

  Letting Go, Mother, Swear To God

  Julie Garwood (2010). “Ransom”, p.225, Simon and Schuster

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• Rowdy, hopped-up college kids pass us in an endless, noisy blur like they're being mass produced or squeezed out of a tube - guys skulking in their T-shirts and cargo shorts, girls in low-slung jeans and flip-flops, pimples and breasts and tattoos and lipstick and legs and bra straps, and cigarettes; a colorful, sexy melange. I feel old and tired and I just want to be them again, want to be young and stupid, filled with angst and attitude and unbridled lust. Can I have a do-over, please? I swear to God I'll make a real go of it this time.

  Jonathan Tropper

  Tattoo, Girl, Sexy

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• Do not swear by the moon, for she changes constantly. Then your love would also change.

  William Shakespeare

  Moon

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