Funny Money Quotes - Page 2

• Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.

  Zig Ziglar

  Love, Family, Happiness

  FaceBook post by Zig Ziglar from Jul 24, 2014

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• You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.

  Tennessee Williams

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  Tennessee Williams (2004). “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”, p.55, New Directions Publishing

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• Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money.

  Satchel Paige

  Funny, Witty, Money

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• The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

  Kin Hubbard

  Inspirational, Funny, Money

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• Money talks, bullshit walks.

  Stephen King

  Money, Talking, Bullshit

  Stephen King (2008). “Duma Key: A Novel”, p.106, Simon and Schuster

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• Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

  Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Funny, Motivational Sports, Money

  "Schwarzenegger elected governor, Oct. 7, 2003" by Andrew Glass, www.politico.com. October 7, 2009.

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• Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Inspiring, Dog

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• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

  Lana Turner

  Funny, Success, Hilarious

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• Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

  Jackie Mason

  Love, Funny, Inspiring

  308 Copy quote

• It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

  Kin Hubbard

  Funny, Happiness, Inspiring

  48 Copy quote

• Money doesn't talk, it swears.

  Bob Dylan

  Funny, Money, Swear

  "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)" (song) (1965)

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• Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

  George Burns

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

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• My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

  Errol Flynn

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

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• Money is like manure; it’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around.

  Brooke Astor

  Money, Humorous, Worthy

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• What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Money, Differences

  Notebook, Dec. 1902

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• Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Money, Two

  Will Rogers, James Smallwood, Steven K. Gragert (1982). “Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Hoover years, 1929-1931”

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• A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

  Robert Frost

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

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• Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more of it one has the more one wants.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Happiness, Witty, Money

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• A fool and his money are soon elected.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Money

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• Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

  Bo Derek

  Funny, Fashion, Money

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Money, Motivation

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• The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.

  Peter Ustinov

  Money, Pay, Bills

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• Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Hilarious, Men

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• Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.

  J. Paul Getty

  Money, Smell, Saving

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• Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did.

  James A. Baldwin

  Funny, Money, Sex

  "The Black Boy Looks at theWhite Boy" (1961)

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