Funny Money Quotes - Page 6

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  Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

  Woody Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

  Without Feathers "The Early Essays" (1975)

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• His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Money, Mines

  7 Copy quote

• People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

  Doug Larson

  Funny, Money, Congratulations

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• If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around.

  Christina Stead

  Money, Business, People

  House of All Nations (1938) "Credo"

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• If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

  James Goldsmith

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

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• You can't tell a millionaire's son from a billionaire's.

  Vance Packard

  Son, Wealth, Millionaire

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• The real excitement is playing the game.

  Donald Trump

  Money, Real, Persistence

  Donald J. Trump, Tony Schwartz (2009). “Trump: The Art of the Deal”, p.63, Ballantine Books

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• I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.

  Ron Kittle

  Funny, Money, Attention

  45 Copy quote

• When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Witty, Funny Inspirational, Government

  P J O'Rourke (1992). “Parliament of Whores-Open Mark”, Vintage Books USA

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• A fool and his money are soon married.

  Carolyn Wells

  Money, Italian, Fool

  Carolyn Wells (1912). “The Lover's Baedeker and Guide to Arcady”

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• The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.

  Thomas Fuller

  Funny, Money, Doctors

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• If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

  Andrew Carnegie, Benjamin Franklin (2015). “The ABC of Money: Including The Way to Wealth and The Gospel of Wealth”, p.72, Cosimo Classics

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• We didn't actually overspend our budget. The health Commission allocation simply fell short of our expenditure.

  Frank Howard Clark

  Money, Business, Hair

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• Family is the most important thing in the world.

  Princess Diana

  Inspirational, Family, Money

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• I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

  e. e. cummings

  Witty, Art, Money

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• Lack of money is the root of of all evil.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Money, Roots, Greatest Wealth

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• To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

  Honore de Balzac

  Funny, Money, Tired

  Honore de Balzac (2014). “Poor Relations: Cousin Betty and Cousin Pons”, p.772, The Floating Press

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• There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

  Mark Twain

  Life, Money, Business

  Following the Equator ch. 56, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" (1897)

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• I rob banks because that's where the money is.

  Willie Sutton

  Money, Robbing, Financial Advisor

  "Willie Sutton Said It First: ‘That's Where the Money Is’" by Leonard Buder, www.nytimes.com. August 26, 1979.

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• Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.

  Taylor Mead

  Money, Doors, Leaving

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• In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

  Kathleen Norris

  Funny, Life, Witty

  26 Copy quote

• Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Witty

  Oscar Wilde (1947). “The Happy Prince”, p.16, New Line Publishing

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• The rich hire lawyers and accountants for a reason - to pass the tax bill on to you.

  George W. Bush

  Bills, Lawyer, Rich

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• The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

  Paula Poundstone

  Funny, Time, Taken

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• I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Time, Humor

  17 Copy quote