Funny Diet Quotes

• I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.

  Dolly Parton

  Funny, Fitness, Book

  9 Copy quote

• My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

  Orson Welles

  Food, Health, Weight Loss

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  86 Copy quote

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• My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

  Henny Youngman

  Weight Loss, Light, Wife

  20 Copy quote

• I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

  Totie Fields

  Drinking, Failure, Food

  56 Copy quote

• The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Witty, Inspirational Life

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.9, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  212 Copy quote

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• 

  Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

  Kate Moss

  Fashion, Size Zero, Taste

  "Kate Moss's motto gives comfort to 'pro-anorexic' community" by Alexandra Topping, www.theguardian.com. November 20, 2009.

  80 Copy quote

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• I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

  Shelley Winters

  Funny Inspirational, Humorous, Weight Loss

  15 Copy quote

• The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

  Jackie Gleason

  Funny, Inspiring, Food

  122 Copy quote

• The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.

  Julia Child

  Funny, Food, Vegetables

  108 Copy quote

• The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

  Bob Hope

  Good Friend, Weight Loss, Dieting

  64 Copy quote

• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

  Barbara Johnson

  Food, Weight Loss, Dessert First

  Barbara Johnson (2000). “Leaking Laffs Between Pampers and Depends”, p.67, Thomas Nelson Inc

  54 Copy quote

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• Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet.

  Cathy Hopkins

  Death, Drinking, Beer

  Cathy Hopkins (2007). “Mates, Dates and Chocolate Cheats”, p.13, Bonnier Publishing Fiction Ltd.

  10 Copy quote

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• Pasta doesn't make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat.

  Giada De Laurentiis

  Dieting, Pasta, Fats

  "Giada De Laurentiis' slim-cooking secrets". Interview with Alison Prato, www.health.com. February 4, 2013.

  104 Copy quote

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• A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

  Hermione Gingold

  Funny, Life, Loss

  16 Copy quote

• If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner

  Henry Sambrooke Leigh

  Fitness, Food, Weight Loss

  Henry Sambrooke Leigh (1869). “Carols of Cockayne”, p.186

  45 Copy quote

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• Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Life, Witty

  FaceBook post by Fran Lebowitz from Apr 13, 2010

  32 Copy quote

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• The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!

  Andy Rooney

  Funny, Fitness, Book

  Andrew A. Rooney (2010). “Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit”, p.210, PublicAffairs

  9 Copy quote

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• A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Loss, Doe, Weight

  18 Copy quote

• Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.

  Socrates

  Food, Weight Loss, Healthy Habits

  15 Copy quote
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  No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Running, Loss, Office

  162 Copy quote

• Once you have to start counting calories, it takes away from the joy of eating.

  Mireille Guiliano

  Joy, Dieting, Eating

  12 Copy quote

• When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad.

  Janette Barber

  Funny Food, Dieting, Cookies

  17 Copy quote

• My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it.

  Harry Secombe

  Loss, Advice, Dieting

  52 Copy quote

• If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

  Jean Kerr

  Funny Inspirational, Food, Loss

  Jean Kerr (1959). “Please Don't Eat the Daisies”

  15 Copy quote

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• When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

  Woody Allen

  Honesty, Weight Loss, Humanity

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

  9 Copy quote

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