Funny Beer Quotes

• Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.

  Thomas Jefferson

  Cheer, Drinking, Beer

  23 Copy quote

• The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Religious, Atheist

  George Bernard Shaw (1993). “The Complete Prefaces: 1914-1929”, Viking Adult

  138 Copy quote

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• Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

  Martin Luther

  Funny, Drinking, Sleep

  1268 Copy quote

• Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

  Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Inspirational, Baby, Motivational Sports

  "Pumping Iron". Documentary, www.imdb.com. 1977.

  91 Copy quote

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• Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Drinking, Dirty, Food

  17 Copy quote

• In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer - the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power.

  A. J. P. Taylor

  Beer, Men, Power

  8 Copy quote
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  An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

  Dylan Thomas

  Funny, Drinking, Food

  Dictionary of 20th Century Quotations quoted by Nigel Rees. Fontana London (1987)

  88 Copy quote

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• Let no man thirst for good beer.

  Samuel Adams

  Beer, Men, Brewing

  14 Copy quote

• What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

  W. Clement Stone

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  59 Copy quote

• Beer is a wholesome liquor.....it abounds with nourishment

  Benjamin Rush

  Humorous, Beer, Liquor

  22 Copy quote

• Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

  Wilhelm II

  Funny, Kings, Women

  150 Copy quote

• I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.

  Sid Vicious

  Love, Beer, Mirrors

  60 Copy quote

• Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Beer, Wife

  23 Copy quote

• I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

  Brendan Behan

  Summer, Beer, Winter

  "Brendan Behan Dies in Dublin", www.nytimes.com. March 21, 1964.

  56 Copy quote

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• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

  Dave Barry

  Book, Drinking, Beer

  Dave Barry (2012). “The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry”, p.112, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Funny, Drinking, Humor

  22 Copy quote

• Beer is made by men, wine by God.

  Martin Luther

  Drinking, Wine, Beer

  14 Copy quote

• I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Inspirational, Wisdom, Truth

  Abraham Lincoln (1999). “The Wit & Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln: A Treasury of Quotations, Anecdotes, and Observations”, Gramercy

  79 Copy quote

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• Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

  Dave Moulton

  Drinking, Beer, Drunk

  8 Copy quote

• The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

  William Butler Yeats

  Drinking, Food, Humor

  31 Copy quote

• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Work

  Quoted in Frank Harris, Oscar Wilde: His Life and Confessions (1916)

  67 Copy quote

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• When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

  Dave Barry

  Fun, Humorous, Home

  7 Copy quote

• Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.

  Edgar Allan Poe

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  Edgar Allan Poe (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated)”, p.229, Delphi Classics

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• For a quart of ale is a dish for a king.

  William Shakespeare

  Kings, Drinking, Beer

  'The Winter's Tale' (1610-1) act 4, sc. 2, l. 1

  60 Copy quote

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• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

  Henny Youngman

  Crazy, Drinking, Reading

  Quoted in Rocky Mountain News, 15 July 1994

  105 Copy quote

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