Liquor Quotes

• A bumper of good liquor Will end a contest quicker Than justice, judge or vicar.

  Richard Brinsley Sheridan

  Clever, Justice, Judging

  1775 The Duenna, act 2, sc.3.

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• If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

  Dean Martin

  Retirement, Drinking, Book

  "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

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• I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Father, Humor

  George Carlin (2004). “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, Hyperion

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• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

  Dave Barry

  Book, Drinking, Beer

  Dave Barry (2012). “The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry”, p.112, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.58, BookBaby

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• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

  Henny Youngman

  Crazy, Drinking, Reading

  Quoted in Rocky Mountain News, 15 July 1994

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• My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

  Henny Youngman

  Good Life, Grandma, Drinking

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Liquor is such a nice substitute for facing adult life.

  Dorothy B. Hughes

  Nice, Drinking, Adults

  Dorothy B. Hughes (2017). “In a Lonely Place”, p.102, New York Review of Books

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• I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

  Adrian Rogers

  Sorry, Drinking, Beer

  Adrian Rogers, Steve Rogers (2012). “What Every Christian Ought to Know”, p.25, B&H Publishing Group

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• One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

  Nancy Astor

  Time, Educational, Drinking

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• It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.

  Thomas de Quincey

  Drinking, Beer, Men

  Thomas De Quincey (1841). “Confessions of an English Opium-eater: Being an Extract from the Life of a Scholar”, p.89

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• Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.

  Samuel Johnson

  Drinking, Food, Hero

  In James Boswell 'The Life of Samuel Johnson' (1791) vol. 3, p. 381 (7 April 1779)

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• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Work

  Quoted in Frank Harris, Oscar Wilde: His Life and Confessions (1916)

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• The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.

  H. L. Mencken

  Drinking, Men, Wind

  H. L. MENCKEN (1924). “PREJUDICES FOURTH SERIES”

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• I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.

  Stonewall Jackson

  Drinking, Food, Alcohol

  Quoted by William Jones in The Life and Letters of Robert Edward Lee, Soldier and Man p. 443

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• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  "Reflection on Ice-breaking" l. 1 (1931)

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• Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain, With grammar, and nonsense, and learning, Good liquor, I stoutly maintain, Gives genius a better discerning.

  Oliver Goldsmith

  Giving, Brain, Intelligence

  'She Stoops to Conquer' (1773) act 1, sc. 1, song

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  The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

  Humphrey Bogart

  Drinking, Book, Beer

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  Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Funny, Witty, Clever

  Ernest Hemingway (2008). “The Good Life According to Hemingway”, Ecco

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• It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

  George Burns

  Clever, Drinking, Drunk

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• I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

  Oscar Levant

  Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• I like to change liquor stores frequently because the clerks got to know your habits if you went in night and day and bought huge quantities. I could feel them wondering why I wasn't dead yet and it made me uncomfortable. They probably weren't thinking any such thing, but then a man gets paranoid when he has 300 hangovers a year.

  Charles Bukowski

  Drinking, Hangover, Night

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• When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk.

  Richard Burton

  Funny, Humorous, Drinking

  "Bottled Wisdom: Over 1,000 Spirited Quotations & Anecdotes" by Mark Pollman, Wildstone Media, (p. 146), January 1, 1998.

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• You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Football, Country

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.231, Simon and Schuster

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• What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

  Lord Byron

  Drinking, Food, Beer

  "The Deformed Transformed". Book by Lord Byron, 1824.

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