There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There are more old drunkards than old physicians.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
I drink to make other people interesting.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.
I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.
It is the unbroken testimony of all history that alcoholic liquors have been used by the strongest, wisest, handsomest, and in every way best races of all times.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
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