Funny Anti Valentines Day Quotes

• You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self.

  Jo Coudert

  Inspirational, Being Single, Self

  Jo Coudert (2003). “Advice from a Failure”, p.131, iUniverse

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• I'm single because I was born that way.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Witty, Freedom

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.

  Warsan Shire

  Lonely, Loneliness, Being Single

  115 Copy quote

• Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Romantic, Valentines Day

  99 Copy quote

• Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.

  Lewis Black

  Funny Valentines Day, Holiday, Special

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• Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

  H. L. Mencken

  Love, Relationship, Anniversary

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• Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.

  Jon Stewart

  Funny, Valentine, Mean

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• You cannot be with someone just because you don’t want to hurt him. You have your own happiness to think about.

  Melissa de la Cruz

  Happiness, Hurt, Thinking

  Melissa de la Cruz (2010). “The Van Alen Legacy: Number 4 in series”, p.148, Hachette UK

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• You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. Of all the people you will know in the lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose.

  Jo Coudert

  Self Esteem, Being Single, People

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• Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility.

  Michael Douglas

  Single, Nice, Happy Valentines Day

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• Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

  Sarah Jessica Parker

  Single, Sexy, Mean

  64 Copy quote

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day

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• At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!

  Joan Rivers

  Heart, Age, Funny Valentine

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• We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies.

  Jose Ortega y Gasset

  Sarcastic, Falling In Love, Valentine

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• If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.

  Estelle Getty

  Sorry, Memorable, Mean

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• Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

  Larry Adler

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  Larry Adler, Philip Judge (1994). “Me and My Big Mouth”, Blake Pub

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• There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives - the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them.

  Mother Teresa

  Love, Mother, Pain

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• The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

  Richard Jeni

  Nuts, Differences, Looks

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• 

  Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

  Candace Bushnell

  Love, Single, Butterfly

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• Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.

  L. Frank Baum

  Love, Break Up, Broken Heart

  "Fictional character: The Wizard of Oz". "The Wizard of Oz", www.imdb.com. August 12, 1939.

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• To love blindly is to love selfishly, because the goal of such love is not the real advantage of the beloved but only the exercise of love in our own souls.

  Thomas Merton

  Real, Being Single, Being Alone

  Thomas Merton (2005). “No Man is an Island”, p.3, Shambhala Publications

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• I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world.

  Mindy Kaling

  Being Single, Being Alone, Different

  "Flick Chicks" by Mindy Kaling, www.newyorker.com. October 3, 2011.

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• Love is like war; easy to begin, hard to end.

  Ann Brashares

  Life, Funny Love, War

  FaceBook post by Ann Brashares from Apr 08, 2013

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• To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.

  Bess Myerson

  Love, Broken Heart, Breakup

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• Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Love, Sarcastic, Depressing

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