Funny Aging Quotes - Page 2

• Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

  Maurice Chevalier

  Funny, Birthday, Health

  Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

  34 Copy quote

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• I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

  Phyllis Diller

  Cute, Birthday, Funny Relationship

  Phyllis Diller (1981). “The joys of aging--and how to avoid them: can sex keep you young? And other silly questions”, Doubleday Books

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• You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.

  Victor Hugo

  Birthday, Health, Medicine

  50 Copy quote

• Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

  Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

  Birthday, Growing Up, Getting Older

  74 Copy quote
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  Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.

  John Lennon

  Inspirational, Life, Friendship

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  Aging is not "lost youth" but a new stage of opportunity and strength.

  Betty Friedan

  Birthday, Strength, Inspiring

  "How to live longer, better, wiser". Betty Friedan, Parade Magazine (pp. 4-6), March 20, 1994.

  113 Copy quote

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• You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

  Will Rogers

  Leaks, Funny Age, Knows

  13 Copy quote

• When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

  Mark Twain

  Birthday, Growing Up, Memories

  "Mark Twain's Own Autobiography," North American Review, 1 Mar. 1907

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• Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.

  Maggie Kuhn

  Confusion, Age, Body

  13 Copy quote

• A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

  Claude Pepper

  Funny, Hilarious, Laughter

  75 Copy quote

• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

  Will Rogers

  Funny Happy Birthday, Waiting In Line, Getting Older

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• Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Birthday, Positive

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.443, Courier Corporation

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• Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.

  J. Norman Collie

  Grandmother, Men, Grandchildren

  9 Copy quote

• Beautiful old people are works of art.

  Eleanor Roosevelt

  Beautiful, Art, Nursing

  8 Copy quote

• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

  Chili Davis

  Love, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  109 Copy quote

• Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

  Dorothy Parker

  Birthday, Age, May

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  There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

  Sophia Loren

  Life, Birthday, Death

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  161 Copy quote

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• You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

  Germaine Greer

  Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  281 Copy quote

• You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt, as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear.

  Paul H. Dunn

  Self Confidence, Wrinkles, Inspirational Birthday

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• In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  567 Copy quote

• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Funny, Motivational

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

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• Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Crazy

  Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.28, Da Capo Press

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• He who is of a calm and happy nature, will hardly feel the pressure of age

  Plato

  Optimism, Age, Pressure

  Plato (2016). “The Republic”, p.211, Xist Publishing

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• Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

  H. H. Asquith

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Retirement

  In Observer 15 Apr. 1923

  33 Copy quote

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