Funny Aging Quotes

• As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

  Norman Wisdom

  Funny, Birthday, Memories

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  1560 Copy quote

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• People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

  George Burns

  Birthday, Retirement, People

  61 Copy quote

• Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

  Joey Adams

  Funny, Life, Birthday

  Joey Adams (1981). “Strictly for laughs”, A & W Publishers, Inc.

  73 Copy quote

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• There is still no cure for the common birthday.

  John Glenn

  Happy Birthday, Friends, Funny Birthday

  "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

  90 Copy quote

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• Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

  Dr. Seuss

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  826 Copy quote

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• Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

  Arthur Schopenhauer

  Birthday, Congratulations, Age

  144 Copy quote

• Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

  Eleanor Roosevelt

  Birthday, Beautiful, Art

  75 Copy quote

• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Birthday

  119 Copy quote

• Old age is fifteen years older than I am.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

  Funny, Humor, Years

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  22 Copy quote

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• Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

  Will Rogers

  Lying, Age, Aging

  10 Copy quote

• Live your life and forget your age.

  Norman Vincent Peale

  Life, Birthday, Inspiring

  Dr. Norman Vincent Peale (2007). “The Positive Principle Today”, p.237, Simon and Schuster

  85 Copy quote

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• The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.

  Robert Frost

  Love, Life, Morning

  44 Copy quote

• It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.

  Brigitte Bardot

  Inspirational, Life, Sad

  "Happy birthday, Brigitte Bardot" by Agnès Poirier, www.theguardian.com. September 21, 2009.

  59 Copy quote

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• The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

  George Eliot

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Time

  61 Copy quote
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  You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

  George Burns

  Funny, Hilarious, Retirement

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  160 Copy quote

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• 

  The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young" (1894)

  91 Copy quote

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• Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

  John Wagner

  Funny, Positive Thinking, Getting Older

  16 Copy quote

• The older I get, the better I used to be.

  Lee Trevino

  Wine, Golf, Tennis

  67 Copy quote

• You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.

  Bonnie Prudden

  Inspirational, Life, Time

  60 Copy quote
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  The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

  Lucille Ball

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

  181 Copy quote

• We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Motivational, Positive

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  627 Copy quote

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• The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.

  Madeleine L'Engle

  Birthday, Success, Nursing

  Twitter post from Jan 3, 2018

  136 Copy quote

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• Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Jack Benny

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Elderly

  New York Times, 1974.

  56 Copy quote

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• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  625 Copy quote

• Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.

  Tom Wilson

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Wisdom

  32 Copy quote