Funny Age Quotes

• The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

  George Eliot

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Time

  61 Copy quote
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  How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

  Satchel Paige

  Happy Birthday, Baseball, Fun

  Quoted in Garson Kanin, It Takes a Long Time to Become Young (1978)

  172 Copy quote

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• A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

  Claude Pepper

  Funny, Hilarious, Laughter

  75 Copy quote

• When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

  Mark Twain

  Birthday, Growing Up, Memories

  "Mark Twain's Own Autobiography," North American Review, 1 Mar. 1907

  29 Copy quote

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  You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

  George Burns

  Birthday, Optimistic, Wish

  George Burns, David Fisher (1990). “All my best friends”, Perigee

  97 Copy quote

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  Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Family

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

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• It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.

  Brigitte Bardot

  Inspirational, Life, Sad

  "Happy birthday, Brigitte Bardot" by Agnès Poirier, www.theguardian.com. September 21, 2009.

  59 Copy quote

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• We are always the same age inside.

  Gertrude Stein

  Happy Birthday, Confidence, Positive Thinking

  "The American Treasury, 1455-1955". Book edited by Clifton Fadiman, p. 946, 1955.

  46 Copy quote

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• Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

  Phyllis Diller

  Inspirational, Birthday, Anniversary

  116 Copy quote
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  There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

  Sophia Loren

  Life, Birthday, Death

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  161 Copy quote

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• Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  Pope John XXIII

  Birthday, Drinking, Wine

  116 Copy quote

• Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

  Dorothy Parker

  Birthday, Age, May

  172 Copy quote

• Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

  Arthur Schopenhauer

  Birthday, Congratulations, Age

  144 Copy quote

• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  625 Copy quote

• Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

  Maurice Chevalier

  Funny, Birthday, Health

  Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

  34 Copy quote

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• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Funny, Motivational

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

  93 Copy quote

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• Time and tide wait for no man.

  Geoffrey Chaucer

  Inspirational, Birthday, Time

  85 Copy quote

• You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

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• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  141 Copy quote
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  The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

  Lucille Ball

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

  181 Copy quote

• You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

  Germaine Greer

  Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  281 Copy quote

• Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  C. E. M. Joad

  Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

  17 Copy quote

• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

  Chili Davis

  Love, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  109 Copy quote

• Live your life and forget your age.

  Norman Vincent Peale

  Life, Birthday, Inspiring

  Dr. Norman Vincent Peale (2007). “The Positive Principle Today”, p.237, Simon and Schuster

  85 Copy quote

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• Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

  H. H. Asquith

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Retirement

  In Observer 15 Apr. 1923

  33 Copy quote

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