Drunk Quotes - Page 35

• In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, Hi, was it good for you too? If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.

  Steve Martin

  Girl, Morning, Night

  4 Copy quote

• The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.

  Jon Stewart

  Home, Night, Years

  6 Copy quote

• Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!

  Drew Carey

  Beer, Boys, America

  "The Drew Carey Show". www.imdb.com. 1995 - 2004.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.

  Greg Giraldo

  Dog, Kids, People

  45 Copy quote

• If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.

  Dane Cook

  Thinking, Escaping, Walmart

  Twitter post from Jul 19, 2013

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.

  Dave Attell

  Book, Phones, Trying

  10 Copy quote

• Come on. I got drunk when I was like 5.

  Fiona Apple

  7 Copy quote

• He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.

  Greg Behrendt

  Want, Likes, Judgment

  Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo (2009). “He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys”, p.70, Simon and Schuster

  5 Copy quote

  Show source

• I try to make myself, and subsequently the audience, as uncomfortable as possible, whether it's completely desecrating a song they thought was one thing, or getting too drunk to really do a very good job.

  J Tillman

  Song, Jobs, Trying

  Source: www.avclub.com

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• There's a lot of people who don't understand the touring and the party scene and it's like, go to bed late, wake up early, drive for hours, play a show, meet crazy drunk people and all that stuff. I would rather be doing that than like McDonalds or something like that though. It's definitely fun but it's a lot of work.

  Sam Hughes

  Fun, Crazy, Party

  Source: puregrainaudio.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view.

  Craig Ferguson

  Views, Point Of View, Terrible

  6 Copy quote

• A few years ago, before I stopped drinking, I was feeling very sorry for myself and very drunk, and I Googled 'Moby Sucks'. In less than one second something like 20 million responses came up... yeah, there has been a lot of loathing directed towards me, and it used to drive me crazy.

  Moby

  Sorry, Crazy, Drinking

  Source: thequietus.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I was in bar about 15 years ago, a relationship had ended badly, I was very drunk and I thought I would convince myself to try and be gay. Like, at one point I didn't like coffee, then I learned to like it.

  Moby

  Coffee, Gay, Years

  "'The Humility That Comes From Being Hated': Moby Interviewed". Interview with Stephen Dalton, thequietus.com. May 9, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Many police officers watch for vehicles without headlights because it's a telltale of a drunk driver.

  Robert James Thomson

  Police, Watches, Vehicle

  "Dr. Gridlock" with Robert Thomson, live.washingtonpost.com. January 4, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• One pleasant surprise was when I interviewed Butch Patrick. I was expecting this bitter old drunk, and instead he had a total sense of humor about his career and his drinking and drug problem.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Drinking, Careers, Drug

  "Gilbert Gottfried on his Amazing Colossal Podcast, Aladdin, and surviving SNL". Interview with Will Harris, tv.avclub.com. January 06, 2016.

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• My husband is the only guy I've ever dated where I've never been drunk around him. I couldn't handle dating without drinking in the past.

  Alison Rosen

  Husband, Drinking, Past

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Well to me growing, up I've had my own psychological war with my parents dying at such a young age. My mother was killed by a drunk driver, then two months later my father drowned. He was out with his friends drinking and on medication for depression, and he didn't come out of the water alive. Growing up with sexual abuse and having to be in gangs and dealing with my own trauma; finding the cultural identity when I was 16, and learning those traditional ways saved me from hurting myself.

  Adam Beach

  Mother, Hurt, Growing Up

  "‘Diablo’ Interview: Adam Beach". Interview with Andrew Hawkins, chud.com. January 9, 2016.

  18 Copy quote

  Show source

• I think a lot of us who had these oddly shaped childhoods, in some ways we're hyper-capable. We're able to take care of ourselves in a lot of ways but it's like we're missing a piece. When everyone went to school to learn how to be a regular person we were sick that day. We compensate other ways. Alcohol and drugs is one of those ways. Instead of learning how to cope with our problems and deal with hardship and deal with anger, we just decide to get drunk and not care.

  Bucky Sinister

  School, Thinking, Sick

  Source: therumpus.net

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• My grandpa could go days, weeks, even months without a drink but if he took that first drink, he couldn't stop. Once, when I was twelve, my mom and I were driving and we saw my grandpa staggering drunk down the street. I asked if we should stop and help him. My mom sadly shook her head and kept driving.

  Brian Lindstrom

  Mom, Grandpa, Twelve

  Source: therumpus.net

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I would hit a scene about my mother screaming at me during her breakdown, drunk or using pills, and she'd turn into a monster. Which she wasn't. She was a human: somebody who loved me and somebody with a problem.

  Leigh Newman

  Mother, Monsters, Pills

  Source: therumpus.net

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I feel like there's not this black-and-white division between concert hall music and music that bands play in a bar. I don't know if this was ever truly the case, but I don't feel that I need to decide between playing for a sit-down, totally silent audience and playing for a bunch of noisy, drunk people in a bar. What I do with the group is somewhere in between.

  Missy Mazzoli

  Black And White, Play, People

  Source: therumpus.net

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'd say Ernest Hemingway would be a blast to get drunk with.

  William Beckett

  Would Be, Blast

  6 Copy quote

• My approach to writing and recording now is pretty much the same as when I started. Except now I worry even less about what people will think of what I made. And I am not drunk.

  Erin McKeown

  Writing, Thinking, People

  Source: therumpus.net

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• If I'm very drunk, I can improvise. But generally speaking, no. Generally speaking, almost all of my work is material that was first done on the printed page. And the shorter ones that you might call poems, I had a stretch from '79, '80, for five or six years, where I wrote a lot of poetry as such. Simply because I was asked to.

  Richard Meltzer

  Years, Done, Might

  Source: therumpus.net

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart.

  Carol Burnett

  Mean, Daddy, Body

  "Carol Burnett: The 'Fresh Air' Interview". "Fresh Air" with Dave Davies, www.npr.org. January 29, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source