Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I want to be a superhero. Maybe I'll be a bartending superhero who shakes martinis to save the world.
An efficient bartenders first aim should be to please his customers, paying particular attention to meet the individual wishes of those whose tastes and desires he has already watched and ascertained; and, with those whose peculiarities he has had no opportunity of learning, he should politely inquire how they wish their beverages served, and use his best judgment in endeavoring to fulfill their desires to their entire satisfaction. In this way he will not fail to acquire popularity and success.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
I was out in L.A. and I had gone to film school and I was out here for a couple of years. For a lot of years, I was bartending and having a good time.
Bartending was definitely crazy and fun, because you got to meet so many different people. Unlike people I worked with, I did not date a lot of men that I met while I was working - it's just not what you do.
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
I toured Ontario in the winter of '48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender.
All my graduation money went to paying for bartending classes so I could have a side gig. I bartended for two months before I was supposed to move to New York and then two months later I got the job as an understudy in 'Sister Act' and haven't looked back since.
Sydney had been horrified to discover my home library consisted of a bartending dictionary and an old copy of Esquire, and at her pleading, I'd promised to read something more substantial. I was trying to think deep thoughts as I read Gatsby, but mostly I wanted to throw some parties.
Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist - whatever.
When I first started, my main goal was to not be bartending anymore, and to not be working at the bank anymore. I just wanted acting to be my job.
When I was in N.Y. bartending, I was in a billion music videos. I was in Madonna, George Michael, Salt-n-Pepa - it goes on and on.
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