Ogden Nash Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Birthday, Friday

• If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Money, Crazy

  Ogden Nash (1945). “The Selected Verse of Ogden Nash”, New York : Modern Library

• Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Dental Work, Teeth

  Ogden Nash (1941). “The face is familiar: the selected verse of Ogden Nash”, Garden City publishing company, inc

• Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Happiness, Happy

• I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  "Reflection on Ice-breaking" l. 1 (1931)

• I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Sex, Women

• A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Dog, Illiteracy

  "A Dog's Best Friend Is His Illiteracy". "The Private Dining Room". Book by Ogden Nash, 1953.

• People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Sarcasm, People

  Ogden Nash (1941). “The face is familiar: the selected verse of Ogden Nash”, Garden City publishing company, inc

• A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Anniversary, Husband

  'The Perfect Husband' (1949)

• There was a young man of Herne Bay
  who was making some fireworks one day:
  but he dropped his cigar
  in the gunpowder jar.
  There was a young man of Herne Bay.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Men, Smoking

• They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Sarcasm, Unemployment

• Senescence begins
  And middle-age ends
  The day your descendants
  Outnumber your friends

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Age, Ends

• People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

  Ogden Nash

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

  Ogden Nash (1933). “Happy Days”

• Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Money, Things In Life

  Ogden Nash (1941). “The face is familiar: the selected verse of Ogden Nash”, Garden City publishing company, inc

• How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Obesity, Easy

  Ogden Nash (1954). “Many long years ago”

• No man is greater than his respect for sleep.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Humor, Sleep

• Women would rather be right than reasonable.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Women, Inspiration

  Ogden Nash (1941). “The face is familiar: the selected verse of Ogden Nash”, Garden City publishing company, inc

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