Evan Esar Quotes - Page 6

Quotes about:

• You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.

  Evan Esar

  Men, Knowing, Literature

  5 Copy quote

• Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.

  Evan Esar

  Done, Said

  7 Copy quote

• Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies.

  Evan Esar

  Community, Helping, Hog

  7 Copy quote

• [A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

  Evan Esar

  Math, Simple, Circles

  10 Copy quote

• The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends.

  Evan Esar

  Envy, Hatred, Enemy

  7 Copy quote

• All work and no pay makes a housewife.

  Evan Esar

  Pay, Housewife

  8 Copy quote

• Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes.

  Evan Esar

  Government, Voting, Citizens

  6 Copy quote

• The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.

  Evan Esar

  Common Sense, Common, Form

  6 Copy quote

• Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

  Evan Esar

  Business, Lying, Believe

  17 Copy quote

• Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.

  Evan Esar

  Corruption, Officials

  8 Copy quote

• Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

  Evan Esar

  Divorce, Play, People

  9 Copy quote

• A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

  Evan Esar

  Husband, Fire, Funny Wedding

  9 Copy quote

• The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.

  Evan Esar

  Running, Book, Men

  6 Copy quote

• The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.

  Evan Esar

  Teaching, Subjects, Lecturer

  7 Copy quote

• Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

  Evan Esar

  Art, Sound, Littles

  8 Copy quote

• The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.

  Evan Esar

  Men, Lazy Man, Trying

  8 Copy quote

• More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.

  Evan Esar

  Doctors, Office, Dresses

  7 Copy quote

• Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

  Evan Esar

  Zoos, Carpe Diem, Study

  "Esar's Comic Dictionary". Book by Evan Esar, 1943.

  145 Copy quote

• Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.

  Evan Esar

  Men, Opinion, Egotism

  7 Copy quote

• Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.

  Evan Esar

  Want, Way, Reactionaries

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• The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.

  Evan Esar

  Listening, Sides, Argument

  9 Copy quote

• The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

  Evan Esar

  Nature, Brother, Zoos

  7 Copy quote

• A compromise is a settlement by which each side gets what neither side wanted.

  Evan Esar

  Sides, Compromise, Settlement

  8 Copy quote

• In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.

  Evan Esar

  Election, Vote, Undecided

  8 Copy quote

• A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.

  Evan Esar

  Fun, Losing, Loser

  7 Copy quote

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