Evan Esar Quotes

Quotes about:

• We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.

  Evan Esar

  Volunteer, Depth, Length

  7 Copy quote

• You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

  Evan Esar

  Your Smile, Beautiful Smile, I Smile

  25 Copy quote

• If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.

  Evan Esar

  Differences, Normal, Different

  9 Copy quote

• America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

  Evan Esar

  Education, Money, Believe

  52 Copy quote

• Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

  Evan Esar

  Anger, Feelings, Mind

  50 Copy quote

• There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.

  Evan Esar

  Leadership, Two, Kind

  25 Copy quote

• In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.

  Evan Esar

  Believe, Democracy, Dictatorship

  18 Copy quote

• Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

  Evan Esar

  Inspirational, Motivational, Strength

  Evan Esar (1961). “Humorous English: a guide to comic usage, jocular speech and writing, and witty grammar”

  124 Copy quote

• If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.

  Evan Esar

  Yesterday, People, Effort

  14 Copy quote

• Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.

  Evan Esar

  Perspective, Unhappy, Want

  13 Copy quote

• The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.

  Evan Esar

  Laughter, Medicine, Needs

  8 Copy quote

• An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.

  Evan Esar

  Confusing, Sound, Experts

  15 Copy quote

• The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

  Evan Esar

  Men, Doe, Bikinis

  10 Copy quote

• You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it.

  Evan Esar

  Needs, Loan, Lending

  8 Copy quote

• Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

  Evan Esar

  Character, Personality, Lost Everything

  20 Copy quote

• The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

  Evan Esar

  Equality, Cemetery

  28 Copy quote

• Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.

  Evan Esar

  Common Sense, Imagination, Common

  6 Copy quote

• Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.

  Evan Esar

  Thinking, Insulting, May

  16 Copy quote

• The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

  Evan Esar

  Funny, Hilarious, Children

  19 Copy quote

• Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

  Evan Esar

  Sight, Car, Age

  37 Copy quote

• Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.

  Evan Esar

  Couple, Divorce, Wells

  13 Copy quote

• Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

  Evan Esar

  Family, Mother, Children

  31 Copy quote

• The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.

  Evan Esar

  Cat, Animal, Next

  9 Copy quote

• Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

  Evan Esar

  Science, Math, Statistics

  Esar's Comic Dictionary

  36 Copy quote

• Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.

  Evan Esar

  Believe, Rumor, Denial

  7 Copy quote

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